It is definitely true that married life sucks. I tried many ways to think positively and relaxed before I go back home but the fears and worried keeps lingering in my mind and heart that something is going to happen at home. Mom is 1 of the main problem after all. Jealousy is the main cause of the argument. Wife is so sensitive on every thing at home while mom is seeking for attention. Even everything we do for our only child is controlled by her. Well, to me, I am so used to mom's character and wrong doing; the only way to get along with her is listen to her, show more concern to her and ignore her for those words that poking deep inside. Honestly there is nothing to lose just that I don't get what I want sometimes but if it would make peace to the house I don't mind giving ways to her. Unlikely my wife who is too sensitive and take things into depth and complaining. Younger generation people are so different that my generation. We were taught to be patience and follow what our parents do even though we know they are in the wrong side. I am just another problem maker after all by marrying a younger generation wife that hardly take advices and challenges. In return she is giving me more problem than I ever expected.
Seriously if I were given the change to choose I will choose to be single forever. In old days, mom was the main reason why I choose to get married. I have been staying with her all these while and because of my sister is delivering, she decided to look after my sister's son and warned me to get married and have baby if I want her to stay with me. I feel that it is such a childish challenge but after numerous warning, I realised she is really hoping that I have my own family and not putting a blame on her being my burden. I asked her to help me if she wants me to get marry. So, she finally did by recommending 1 to me. Now everything is in order and the family war is the only thing left behind for me to handle and face it everyday. I wish I can just disappear from this world and move on in another brand new life but all this wishes will not never come true. When you ventured into a new life, you will be blended with new lifestyle and new family feeling. That is another problem with me.
No one will ever believe what I says and even think that I will have the kind of sense. I always look cheerful and happy whenever I join anyone. But after this marriage, I realized my life is really an empty box that stuffed into a container that full of weight, from all sides. I know complaining aren't helping at all. My sister is the only media that I rely on now just in case if cannot find my way out. Sometimes I cried out loud in the car of all the problems I kept deep inside me but sometimes I really need someone to listen and give me some feedback or guidance. Although we far apart thank God that with the current advanced technology, we still can get in touch as much as we can. Although knowingly that she cannot help much except listening and putting on more fire into fires, at least I feel someone is still there to listen and borrow me her shoulder to cry on.
I have being nagging and complaining about my stupid life since the day I found this blog and yet I still continues to do it without realizing there are many more people out there that are even worst than me. Whenever I sit and think, I realized that I started to distance myself from my mom and wife. But in actual I love both of them so much. whenever I am close with mom I am so worried that my wife would get jealous; but if I am close with my wife, mom is jealous. Apparently everyone is jealous but did anyone of them think of my feeling? For those who is reading this that are still single, listen and listen and listen. Don't get marry if you want to have better life. In every steps of path we choose, we have to scarify our future. If you ask me, I would choose to stay with my mom till she had her last breath than getting 2 ladies at home fighting without any reason which ended up we, men have to suffers.
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