23.07.2009 - Anger Management

I was hoping that my sickness is getting worst on Wednesday so that I can excuse myself from presenting the slides. But my fever improve alot after a good rest. So, I woke up early, shower and then dressed up like getting married. Ya of course I have to get smart because I am the presenter that day. My day started with stress and nervous. I can't even taste my breakfast and think of eating at all. But luckily I brought some bread a day before to fill up my stomach.

At 845am, my fellow colleague who will be covering the morning session presentation pick me up and straight heading to our destination. We are expecting a small room with approx. 4 to 6 long table right in front where we can talk without any aids like microphone or so on. but to our surprise, we have about 20 long tables and according to the organizer, they are expecting about 60 participants in this session. We were shocked that time and our nervous and stress is doubled. We walk around mumbling all the way and begin to call our HQ complaining about what happened. My Mgr was surprise and promised to join the workshop but he turn up later after the workshop begins. Both of us are so stressful because it is our first time on stage. We are infact not prepared but to no choice we have to stood up and pretend we are okay. Times up and my colleague was up on the stage holding the mic with his hand slightly shaking/trembling. I was sitting next to him near to the stage facing the participants waiting for my turn. The feels is like waiting to be slaughtered. My worries and stress is ease a bit initially but was getting worst after seeing no response from the participants and anger look from the organizer. 1st session was over for lunch and everyone seems not responding at all. i was preparing my slides and walking around the stage to get use to it while others are exiting the main entrance for lunch. Before I begin fixing up myself and my slide, I notice the organizer was talking to my Mgr at the corner of the room. Her face was full of disappointment while my Mgr looks strange and worried. I quickly jump off from the stage and rush to the discussion and noted that the organizer is lodging complains about my colleague presentation. It was a big hit to us and i was so scared, stress and even nervous than before. It gives me a big slap and tension because she is expecting something better after lunch, which is my turn. I doesn't want to talk about what she complained but what she expect from us is something like an experience trainer that can make the crowd and participation from all the participants rather than sit and listen. I was hungry before that but after listening to her complains, I can no longer think about eating at all. The lunch buffet was great but I have no appetite at all because of the stress. Fruits is the only thing I took that time. I took a warm walk outside the hotel and then back to the ballroom to make myself feel better. I talk to 1 of the big director who organize the workshop and started to feel even worst because he is expecting something better than what his colleague wants. So, I was ready and stressful but very angry over the complains. This is me. I hate complains and if I receive 1, I will be very angry. My presentation starts and it looks smooth after all. I was okay after 5 minutes on stage and started off with jokes and then facts. I make everyone smile, laugh and angry. I use my anger to control my presentation. It is successful, infact both organizer complimented my presentation during the workshop. It turns a bit out of control during the Q&A session but I manage to overcome it easily. Huh... my stress was gone after that. i was like a free bird after the presentation. I was told to return to HQ for discussion and then rushing to airport to catch my flight at 745pm. My day ends once I reach home. I was totally like a vege, tired and weak. My fever came back badly during that night but again recover after a day rest.

I can see my path to get heart attack one day. With all the stress i can see I will be the next kin to have heart attack and high blood pressure. What a day.

22.07.2009 - Rush Hour

Indeed it is my RUSH HOUR on 22nd. I pick up the silly auditor from his hotel, took him straight to my office and begin talking from morning till evening explaining my operation process. In fact I am very stress because I received many calls from my HQ to be more careful and they are expecting zero 'finding' from my side. It is because my HQ got 9 NCR from him. My stress and lack of sleep really makes me weaker and weaker. I was really ill that time but nothing can stop me from talking and working. HQ tells me not to show him that much of things but to me, I play reverse physcology to this auditor. I throw all the files on his desk, tells him 1 by 1, explain to him how I manage the branch, show him data 1 by 1 until he feels strange and confident that everything is in order because I am so daring to show him things than keeping it. We spend 1/2 day in the office discussion and reviewing report and records. By noon, we went out for lunch and then driving him to Taiping to catch up some field work. I am getting weaker. Can you ever imagine, I have being working since last week till late nite non stop and then travel to KL and then talking and meeting with the auditor and then driving him to Taiping from Penang and return within 4 hours. By the time I reach Penang, I can feel my fever is getting worst. I force him to end the audit by 6pm so that I can sit on my desk to glance through my email quickly before I move on to another task. Hundreds of email flew in and due to short of time, I pack my stuff and straight I go to airport to catch my flight to KL that night. My fever was bad and I was hoping that airport authority would able to detect me and stop me from flying but to my disappointment, nothing happen. I called my HQ notifying them on my condition but none was bothering much since no one is willing to take over my place as a presenter aka trainer at Concorde Hotel. I didn't even touch on the presentation slides that I am going to use the next day. I can feel cold and dizzy when I was in the airport, but luckily Panadol was there. Hahaha.... I reach Kl around 1030 and was so happy that one of my friend is at the airport picking me up. She knew that I am very sick because I text her about my condition and my trip to KL. I thought we might want to meet up for a chat but ended up she look after me like a maid / nurse. By the time I reach hotel, it is already 1120pm. I took my shower to fresh up, take my medicine and then reading my mails and slides before I go to bed. During that time, nothing is more important than my bed!

20.07.2009 - My horrible week ahead

This is very strange. I need to backdate all my blog since I have not much time to sit and write what I have gone through all the days. I have being sleeping late night around 2 to 3 am checking reports from all around Asia pacific and at the same time flying to KL twice a week. What a mess! It was a nice week (week 3 of the month of July) with average incoming orders but it never keep me free the whole day as I need to read lots of SOPs and writing lots of WI. I was calm that time until I received a call from my HQ that I need to fly down to KL on Saturday 18/07. I hate traveling during weekend ends because it is my off day. And guess what they just need me to be there for discussion and rehearsal on my up-coming presentation on 22/07. Initially I thought the presentation was just a topic but it become reality. I can't imagine how could an Operation Executive cum Auditor become a trainer / presenter to estimated 40 participants. Do I have any choice? I was quite frustrated when I get to know that I have to fly to KL on Saturday, return on the same day and to be audited by oversea auditor on my operation on coming Tuesday. Yes it is going to be a damn rush week. I travel to KL on Saturday morning, back on the same day, rest on Sunday (not really rest la.. I have to clean my house, check reports, marketing,etc.), busy on Monday getting prepared to be audited, being busy on Tuesday with the auditor, fly to KL again on the same day on Tuesday, stay one night, to have presentation on Wednesday, and return on the same day. And know what, I have tonnes of files on my desk waiting for me to prepare and read to get new seasonal project to kick off.

My trip down on Saturday is really a rush trip. I feel horrible over the day because my company burn my weekend just like that because of small discussion about the presentation. They shouldn't have accept this task since we are not a trainer after all. By the time I reach home it is already 1030pm. Forget about Saturday! Nothing much I have for the day except being working one whole day in KL. As for Sunday, my regular routine goes as usual. Tired, boring and exhausted.

My Monday was terrible. Running through all the files and process flow really makes me tired and frustrated. I have to run thoroughly from A to Z. I finished my work about 1130pm after completing all the touch up before the auditor arrive the next day. My body is getting weak and weak because of lack of sleep. I fall ill since last Friday and my fever fluctuate from time to time. Sometimes I didn't even realised that I am actually sick!

14.07.2009 - Penang Drivers

Frustrating is the best answer when someone ask me ‘how is your day today’. With all the rush and trouble foreseen for the day, I was given another frustrating moment dealing with all the Penang ‘idiot drivers’. I have being driving for almost 14 years and never once noticed that Penang drivers behaving themselves on the road. Considering the jam caused the narrow Penang bridge years back has being rectified and now running 3 lanes but yet the traffic flow remain the same. As long as the attitude of Penang drivers remains unchanged, no matter how many lane extended, the situation will remain the same. I was driving in the morning last week listening to my favorite channel; MixFM and was a bit agitated when callers claims that Penang drivers are the worst drivers in Malaysia. Initially I was a bit mad over this but after days over; I start to realize the truth about what these callers claimed. Indeed Penang drivers are sucks and stupid! Most of the time, cars are driving on the right lane; I mean fast lane while others are overtaking from left lanes.

Yes, Penang drivers, disregards of race, gender or whatsoever, majority are idiots! Some drive like mad dogs, speeding, driving right close to your rear bumper and overtaking cars like street racers, sort of rushing for reincarnation. Others modifying their cars like mini-aero plane (some looks like batman’s car) with wings and tails, big muffler, good looking bumpers and skirting, colourful; like rally car but drove in the middle of the road at 40 km/hour. But the worst which I really hate most, those silly drivers reversing the global protocol by driving moderately / slow at right lane. Despite of being alerted with signal light, high-beamed and horned, these drivers ignore your existence and continue driving at their own desire like no-body business. These people have no sense of humor, they are treating the road belongs to their great grand father, doing what they wish and ignoring the rules. Instead of giving ways, sometimes they shows you middle-finger or cursing you when you overtaking them. Yes even woman.

There is 1 case where I was on the right move turning into a junction but was blocked by a car coming out from the same road I am going into. I took an emergency brake and took a deep look at the driver sort of expressing my dissatisfaction over what happened. By right I am on the priority side; but I was treated like I did a mistake. And to my surprise it is a woman with 1 child at the back of her wonderful Toyota Lexus. To me, whether you are gay, man or lady, as long you are on the road, you must obey to the general rule and drive safely. But this lady, she shows me her middle-finger in front of her daughter and drove away without any ‘sorry’. Instead of waving her hand saying sorry, she choose to educate her daughter with fingers and drove off proudly that she has done a great job cutting queue and overtaking at the junction. What a bitch!

11.07.2009 - Caucasian OR Malaysian

2 days ago, while I was in the hospital waiting for our turn, I spotted one big family gathering in the hospital seeking for medical attention. Out of several members, there is 1 caucasion look young, skinny and ugly. Sorry for saying this but it is the fact that he is not Bratt Pitt or even Joe Pesci. Well it is not an offense seeing an English man in the hospital but I feel irritating with the one walking next to him, showing off his caucasian boy friend and worst of all talking in English with Western slang. Yes she is local, little bit cute, young but feeling proud and obviously showing off. Seriously, I don't understand why she needs to behave like tat. She talk loudly, wearing cloths that revealing her body (exposing I should say) and peeping around like hoping people looking at her with Mr. Caucasian. And yes alot of people staring at her because of the strange boy friend she had. I don't understand why she need to show off such a way? Believe me or not, she purposely hug and kiss that caucasian whenever he stood up. I laugh at her when she did that, because of her idiot behaviour. It is a disgraced to the family. It shows that her parents did not provides her a proper education and proper guidance on Asian culture. No doubt we are modern in terms of culture and believes, but being polite, respectful and dignity shall always be preserved. We are Asians with lots of culture and rules to be followed. Although you are educated or grown up in foreign country, you still need to be alert on your culture, your origin and your ancestor. We have out local dialect and local way of communication. Our national language is Bahasa Malaysia, as such respect it as much as you can like how American respect their country. Use our local way of talking and don't show off your slang in Malaysia. Excuses such as 'used to it' is non-sense. I have several friends in New York, study and work there for years and even married now in US. Why both husband and wife can talk in normal English in Malaysia and not in those slang? Make it simple... that is call show off.

The things is, Asian woman are generally stupid / idiot especially Chinese. All man are the same but somehow they treat caucasian extremely special and would rather die to fuck them than the Asian guys. To them having a stranger or so call foreign boy friend make then proud and special of all. It is like comparing to other woman that they are great and have special and different type or species where no one else has. Kind of strange feels. I have couple of friends claimed that they would love to have caucasian boyfriend than local guys because of some silly reasons. You wouldn't want to know what that is. Well, there is no more nice girls in Malaysia. MOST of them are so bitchy, materialized, rude, money face, 'playgirl',... and so on.

09.07.2009 - ATM Man Day

I am so tired today. I feel sleepy now while writing this. I woke up very early today, supposed to work but I took an off to take my mom for her routine check up at both hospitals; the Mount Miriam and Adventist. Driving is a tedious things to do, especially getting yourself trapped in the jam during peak hours. The only thing came out from my mouth are curses to those silly Penang drivers. In Penang, right lane is a slow lane while left lane is a fast lane. Despite being high beamed and occasionally being horn, those silly driver pretended like they never hear or see someone hinting them to drive on the correct lane instead. Sick driving in Penang.

The sickness never ends from there. We firstly stop by at the Adventist Hospital, registering my mom and then to the lab for blood test. While waiting for the blood test result which is estimated to be in 3 hours time, we departed from the hospital and headed to Mount Miriam which is approx. 6 to 10 km away. Again, registration and then to the waiting area. We waited for almost 30 minutes before someone attend to us and then to the RT Scan room and then to the canteen to fill up our stomach. We return to the waiting area at 11am and waited until 1.30pm. Seriously, Mount Miriam is one of the best cancer centre in Malaysia; unfortunately the management system on handling patient is the worst I ever seen. Can you ever imagine, we have to sit at the waiting area, a limited space and chairs, no privacy at all, no entertainment, except small 14 inch Tv mounted at approx. 7 feet height, space less chairs, etc. Worst of all, the numbering system is not applicable to all patients. We were excluded from the numbering system which makes me curious, am I in the queue or they have forgotten about us? Initially I was in the plan of lodging a complain but after somehow I was telling myself why not take it as it is and wait for our turn. But somehow the seat was burning my patient and I begin to walk to the counter surrounded by bunch of workers that some look doing something that not relevant at all. When I ask her if I am on the list, she just ask me to wait and wait. Initially, I say okay but after an hour I begin to voice up and show my colors. I look at her name tag sacartically and begin to say something nasty; and then she begins to talk nicely and says we are in the list and soon will reach our turn. Seriously I really wish to give them a big slap; writting long pages of complain but I am too lazy to think of all this. But then, I think it is worth every seconds we waited, the result was good and mom is now a healthy old lady. Wuahahaa... but it cost me MYR1100 for the scan and consultancy fee. I really wish the management of Mount Miriam to relook into their system on how to manage their patient effectively and efficiently.

So, after paying the fees, we drive straight to Adventist again to get her blood test result and doctor's monthly routine check. Everything is okay and doctor says mom is now a healthy person. Again I was charged with another bill amounting MYR670 with 3 months medicines. Believe it or not, it cost me MYR1770 just for medical examination every 3 months. MAN! I wish I have a stamping money factory. Anyway I am glad that everything is fine for mom. We reach home around 4pm and then to my office to clear some stuffs until 9pm. I am an ATM today. Medical fees, parking charges, meal, fuel, tolls, etc. It is easy to spend but difficult to earn.

28.06.2009 - Hot Hot Hot

My last Sunday was fun. I was rushing for everything I planned. I was planning for a blood donation in the noon that is why everything is a rush before I become 'taufu'. Actually nothing much different though just that I prefer to sleep after I finish donating my blood. I was in the plan to go for a jog in the evening but I didn't make it cos too many things to do in the house including checking reports, cleaning and then of course eating. It was a fun Sunday indeed. I was doing my cleaning and so sudden, a friend of mine triggering my house bell. I was so rush mopping the floor and quickly get it done and have my instant shower before following him to the donation centre. I was surprise that this year, the number of participant was increased. It took me 2 hours to get 5 minutes of 350 ml blood. I was frustrated because of hunger for food.

My plan for the day turned sour. I was so sleepy and feeling hot due to the strange hot weather. Haze was all around that makes me feel heaty, suffocate and of course sleepy. I force myself to drive down to town hoping to watch the great Transformer 2 but all seats are fully booked. We drive around and then ended up back home watching tv. I wish it rains everyday. I cannot stand the heat anymore.