20.03.2011 - Day 3 in Singapore

My condition is not doing good at all. I look fine that day to everyone but deep inside me I am telling myself it is time to collapse. We were getting ready for our trip back, packing our stuffs and cleaning off the room before leaving. My GF is not that observant and treated me as normal without knowing how bad I am. We went to the airport early since BIL and sis wants to have lunch there in one of the famous restaurant. We took fried rice and some dishes that I think still heaty to me. At my current condition, I think porridge is the best than anything else. We check in and board after that around 3pm and the same feelings of being left behind is still there. The sadness and miss to mom and everyone in Singapore is unbearable.

We reach Penang around 5pm. I was speechless as my condition turn worse than I ever thought off. My headache was severe and I cannot even talk and walk. My GF left me at home and straight she goes back to her house not turning out the whole night. What makes me pissed off is she summons me have dinner with her parents. I was so mad that time, and rejected her immediately! What lingering in my mind is, how could she do that to me knowingly that I am so sick and home alone, no one cook for me and no food at home; how could she leaves me alone at home like tat. I am very disappointed with her. My headache that night is unexplainable. I feel giddy and seeing things turning around. I was so hungry that night but it leaves me no choice to wake up myself, walk to the kitchen and find something to eat. I was trying to search for bread but there is none in the kitchen. The only option is instant noodle which I have to cook. I have no other option; I cook 1 pack of instant noodle and took it. I receive no SMS from her at all that night. I headed straight to my bed and get some sleep until the next day. What surprises me is, when I asked her why she ignore me that night; I was told that she knew I am sick and need rest, that is why she did not disturb me at all. But funny part is why she ask me to join her parent for dinner? Is she pretending to know I am sick or don't know that I am sick. I was even mad when she said that she planned to cook for me but afraid that I might be resting on the bed and unable to get the door open. Know what? Is she the one that I am looking for? I have doubt on that!

19.03.2011 - Day 2 Singapore Trip

We have being waiting for day 2 since day 1. Sis have being so promising for so many things to do on day 2 until I almost giving up my office work. Yes I bring along my office work just to clear off a little bit. We woke up early in the morning playing with Lucas and then took breakfast - Chicken rice since it is almost 11am. We have a walk in IKEA and bought few things back. It was a great walk and shop as we walk and chat all the time. Lucas was our main laugh as he keeps us busy handling him left and right. In the afternoon session, they went to the pool while I keep myself busy win the gym just to get a little sweat; if i helps to bring down my flu, slight fever and soar throat. It was a pretty good jog in fact for 45 minutes of work out. I join them in the pool after awhile and there is where my flu is getting worsen. With the sweat, heat, I suddenly get myself cold in the pool. When we return home, I was feeling uneasy and about to fell off on the bed. I took a nap in the room while everyone is watching TV. Time passes fast that day! BIL planned for curry fish head the restaurant we went there last year while sister is planning to drop by later at the Orchard road after the dinner since it is her (my little GF) first time in Singapore. With the curry add on and non-stop of rest, walking at the shopping mall, my condition is getting worse. Once we reach home, BIL went out to grab a fried spring chicken knowing I love it so much. I cannot resist as it is so tasty and delicious. With the fried chicken in, I am expecting for the worse that night and yes I am very sick that whole night. I wish things turn better the next day.

18.03.2011 - Day 1 in Singapore

After all the stress and disappointment, I decided to take a short break visiting mom and Lucas (nephew). I bought a ticket 2 weeks before whcih only cost me MYR298 for 2 persons (me and my other half); which I think worth buying. Mom and sister have being complaining that why I took so long to pay them a next visit since few months back, so I took this opportunity to take a rest and free my mind from all the sadness in office. I was in the plan to go alone but with mom and sis complain as well as the pity look of her, I decided to get her to join me as well.

Friday was my flight day. It was so unfortunate that I am not feeling well due to the uncertain weather condition which rain and sunny days exchange drastically. With add on stress and lack of sleep my immune system start to react strangely and causes me flu and soar throat. I went to the nearest clinic when we are on the way to airport to grab some medication to prevent it to become worst. Seriously I don't really like to travel with this condition. If given the choice, I would rather sit at home resting. Anyway ticket is already secured and money already spent, not much choice I have then. We catch our flight at 5pm and reaches Singapore in 1.5 hours time. Sis, BIL and Lucas was in the airport picking us up while mom is at home preparing dinner for us. I was hoping a light meal since I am not well but turn up my favorite dish; sambal petai. There is where the flu and soar throat comes worse. Well, day pass really fast and we slept around 1am after chatting awhile. Sis seems to plan everything pretty well the next day and we can't wait to be tomorrow then.

14.03.2011 - Graveyard Office

I hate to go to office. It is now like a graveyard. Cold and quiet. I wish I can work from home and I do not need to see anyone ghost in this office. Hate them so much.

13.03.2011 - Kelam Caves Venture

I am getting more lazy on my blog. Anyway, talking about the caves, pretty amazing. There are 2 Kelam Caves at the place we visited. It looks great and amazing from outside and we feel so excited and can't wait to get inside to experience how the caves looks from inside. We bet there must be something unique and cool. We started at the 2nd cave; when we reach at the entrance we just notice it was closed due to some maintenance on the bridge. 2nd cave was a cave where it link from 1 end to the other by bridge. Below the bridge are water and rocks which is not possible to be on foot walk. Bad news is, it is closed. Nothing much to hope for. We headed to the 1st cave with hope but when we reach there, again we were told that the chain operated train that transport visitors into the cave is not functioning. We were so disappointed and was begin cursing over the poor maintenance from the state council. We were walking around that area and for a sudden were told that the cave keeper do allow us to enter the cave but we have to walk in with a tour guide. We thought the trip was free, but was quoted RM40 per trip for 10 head count. I have to search around for 8 more people to share the RM40. If Rm40 for the 2 of us, I think it is really ridiculous. Anyway we manage to add on 4 person into our group which total of 6 of us. We share the RM40 equally and begin our 800 meter journey into the cave. It is hard to express the unique of the cave; only pictures can tell thousand words on it. The cave was natural but the depth and holes in between were man made during year 1827 by Chinese, tin mining process. there are man holes, path and many signs of human exploration into the cave. The temperature was around 20C. We sweat a lot due to walk and hike. It took us approx 1 hour to complete the whole course. With Rm40, yes I think it is worth it. Take a look at the pictures.

12.03.2011 - Lost in Nowhere

I was frustrated over work and was figuring out what else I can do to vent it off and get rid of it and goes on with my daily life. I tried to let go but I realized it is so difficult. Being in this company for 13 years, it is not easy to forget things and goes on with life especially with someone that is so close with. I decided to go for a short day trip vacation at Langkawi Island on Saturday. It was a last minute decision and I packed all my stuffs in the late evening yesterday. We took our breakfast and planned to move out once we feel good about it. Something turns to be uneasy especially the earthquake strike Japan which triggered the whole world on Tsunami alerts. Japan was badly affected with 9.5 magnitude earthquakes followed by Tsunami that have destroyed Japan major cities from sea sides to town area. It is a devastating catastrophe, 1 of a kind in human race. Our trip almost called off after threats from friends and family on the possibility of Tsunami at Langkawi Beach and Ferry terminal. Weather wasn't that good though and it makes our decision even tougher if we should go or not. Since we have all our packs ready, we take the risk by driving down to the ferry terminal at Kuala Kedah hoping things are going well as we plan. After 1 hour plus drives, we reached the terminal and what really surprised us is, the terminal is very crowded and filled with lots of tourist; most of them kids. Then we realized that it is school break season. We tried out luck to purchase our ferry ticket but with the crowd and queue, we make up our mind to call off and return. While we were driving out, we were telling ourselves that since we already in the north, why not we drop by at the Padang Besar, Perlis; border area between Malaysia and Thailand for shopping and food? So we drove from the terminal to the destination relying on my old GPS system hoping we get through the obstacles from missing. We were totally unprepared for back up plan and drove from an area to another without knowing where were are heading to. We took turns that we don't even know and even drove kilometers away and then turn back once we notice something is wrong. My GPS doesn't seems to work correctly as it should be and keep having the 'lost signal' message especially when we were really lost somewhere. Signboards are hopeless as all the street names and location / cities are about similar and sometimes even went missing. Almost 5 hours, we are on the road and finally I am shouting out to go back home rather than keep searching. Fortunately, we see a signboard showing 'Gua Kelam'; so call Kelam Cave. It is a well known historical and adventurous place/cave but with the poor maintenance from both external and internal of the caves, it is now a quiet and lousy destination. I'll talk more on the caves and our next journey on my next blog!

11.03.2011 - Graveyard Office

It is now a nightmare in office. Before that everything seems to be very happy go lucky and everyone loves everyone in the office. Now, after the incidents, everything seems to be very quiet and everyone looks sad and scared. I am the main contributor to this since I choose to be quiet all the days unlikely before where I talked and make jokes all the time. She is also totally quiet and ignoring me and as usual with her character and attitude walking in and out from the office frequently just like telling me she feels uncomfortable and very angry. Well, I have made up my mind; I have enough patience over what she have done. My buddies came to me asking if there is anything wrong because I am totally quiet and I told him I am okay and prefer to be quiet since I am not happy to be here. He is complaining that the whole office is not like a graveyard with full of quietness, haunted and angers. I just wish it can be like old day. I shouldn't have going into things too personal with her. I guess it is going to be like this forever. I hate to come to office now. I bet either 1 of us will sure resign because of this issue.

10.03.2011 - Betrayed by some 1 U trusted

I have being keeping quiet since Tuesday and refuse to talk much in office. I can start to feel the worries among my colleagues and of course that little bitch who have being giving me problems all the while. I am so mad over what she did to me. I have being very patient and quiet for these few month and she have being taking advantage on me like showing me faces, busy flirting on the phone and making friends with my enemies. Last time, she is always behind me and making lots of complaint about these enemies and I have to back her up. Now she choose to be close to them and trying to tell them she is not in good terms with me. Because of my boss, I have to be an enemy to everyone in the northern and I only have a hope which is all my staff would side me and back me up. I don't mind if the choose to be neutral rather than be siding my enemy than me. I have no choice but they do. And she is choosing to be transparent to these people that we are not in good terms and she is siding them. People are laughing at me and making fun on me for being so restless and no one is supporting me except my boss who made me to be like this. I am so disappointed and decided to be quiet and be friend to no one except myself. I rather be normal colleague and off office hours I am no friend to them at all. What surprises me today, she called me and talked to me that everyone which is my staffs including her is so worry about me and know that I have no one around me to talk to. It is like telling me if I don't make friend with her or them, I am all alone in the office. Fuck! I was so mad that time and warn her to talk about work and hang off if there is nothing much to say. She talked for almost 30 mins and out of my control, I yelled at her to stop and I am going to hang off rudely if she don't stop talking. I was trying hard to keep quiet and lay down but with her talks like I am wrong being ignoring them burst me up and start talking rudely to her. I keep telling her I have made up my mind, I will have no more friend in office, I need no support and people to stay behind me! In fact I don't need them at all. i can just find fault with them by telling my boss but I choose not to make up things worst. I bet she is now frustrated and regret calling me. I think she will leave soon. In fact I am very mad over her. She is the one that makes me upset since Tuesday. Boss called me early in the morning giving me bad news and I was struggling to stay put and be strong. She light up my fire when she shows to the whole office she is not in good terms with me and siding my enemies. What kind of assistant that would betray their own boss who brought them up all the way from down there. I am disappointed and sad over this. I just cannot believe this happen and I am speechless when I am in the office. I just wish I can find a better job and quit as fast as I can.

08.03.2011 - Never trust to a woman

I have being working in this company for years and met this lady since the day I joined. We are not in the good terms at all and always argued for day and night. Until the day I got promoted, she turned to be nice to me and eventually falling in love with me; which I did not know about this at all. Things changed last few years ago when she decided to get into my life during and after I got broke off with my ex-girl friends. And we get even closer when I got promoted and she is assigned to be my assistant. We seems to be very closed and always be together whatever we do. She even promised me that she doesn't mind to be a good friend with me having fun all day long like girlfriend and boyfriend; especially touching, hugging and hanging out together. Yes we got even deeper than everyone ever knows. Lately I found my other part of my life, my life partner who can be with me and look after me when mom is not around. To me she is not perfect but an ideal person to be a wife for lifetime. To tell the truth, I would say it is too early to make her to be my wife. I need more time.

The bad part is , my so call assistant get to know about this and begin to retaliate. I recalled her promises to be with me is just friendship and will let me go to build my family if I manage to get a good girlfriend in times to come. But it doesn't seems to be true as at now. She is keep bugging me and making problem with me day and night. The worst is during office hours. She tried to ignore my call, ignore my instruction, pretend to be very busy on the phone with friends instead of customers, making friends to my enemies and worst of all, reluctant to work late or over time. She rather choose to stay close with all those we are not suppose to be closed with and choose to push me away. My working environment is getting worst and I hate to be in the office everyday. I hate to see her and hate to see how she act to be very ignorance, ego, impolite and worse is pretend to be some kind of happy. I hate seeing people pretending what they did just to show off to you. I know she purposely trying to make me think that she is going against me and telling the whole world that she is not in the good terms with me. I am tired.. I need to look for a better prospect than sitting in this company with full of shits and monkeys.

08.03.2011 - I hate working in this company

Seriously speaking, I never enjoy working in this company at all. I received a call this morning from my boss hinting me that we are not really a favorite to our managing director. He just warn me to be careful in everything I do as there someone looking at us at all time trying to figure out our mistakes to pointy shoot us. I agree with it because someone is not in good terms with me in this particular branch. This have being there since 10 years ago but luck is not siding me at all having him promoted to be the branch administrator. I have so many times being rudely attacked by him during meetings when there are chances but I just don’t know why I keep silent and lay low than making problems. I hate myself being too quiet in the meeting but I have decided it is best to be quiet than making too much noises and mistakes. Seriously I thought Malays and Indians are the problem maker but in reality Chinese are the main problem makers. They are so power crazy and dirty in sense of business deals and reputation. They can step on anything they do not like to see or their own friend just to get what they want. What a disgrace! I wish I am not a Chinese and rather be a Caucasian.