28.01.2010 - Invisible Frustration

How would you feel if someone saying something brutally to you without considering how you feels? I was frustrated and put up a call with everyone I knew in the management team to lodge my dissatisfaction. I even call for a demotion after being humiliated in front of someone lower rank than me. But I never expect that HE apologize to me the next following days after being alerted by one of his very close colleague pertaining to my dissatisfaction. No doubt it is a genuine and sincere intention but something that have being thrown out somehow cannot be retrieved or forgotten except learning to forgive and forget. Yes I choose to forgive and forget than having grudge against him. Without him I won't be able to sit there for years and have the opportunity to hold such important seats and responsibility. Although he is someone that most of us hate to deal with, but to me he is really an idol to me despite being sarcastic sometimes. Well, I guess this might be the only options to get success and recognized; who knows... My day was pretty messed up. Too much of confidence will probably drags you to loop holes sometimes. I was followed by a trainee today which I wish he could take over my task effectively and professionally but unfortunately he is too much consecutive. He only accept things within his territories and reluctant to accept newbies and opportunity. I guess I have projected a tough and too much of challenges on this task that is why none of them willingly to take over and learn to accept it. I am tired but I do love to hang out once a while from the office to release my stress and look around. My work is really tying me up and I have skipped my work out / exercise since 2 months back. My will to loose weight seems to varnish away and fats are seems to develop every part of me. I am so sick of it!

22.01.2010 - Should I happy for the Promotion

While I was in the battle field today in the factory; I received couple of short messages (SMS) and phone calls from my fellow colleagues. I was greeted and congrats by them for sudden on my promotion to asst.manager. I was like... huh??? so??? I was told since last year end that they might promote me but the waiting period really makes me give up waiting and was expecting it was only a empty promises. In fact I have being handling the task equivalent to that post for almost a year so not a big deal to me. I was asked to appreciate it and feel happy with it. Seriously I feel nothing the whole day except being mad meeting up that idiot fellow in the factory who challenge me something they he doesn't know. I was invited for dinner by my ex-boss but I turn him down since I was tight with my audit schedule. When I return home, I told mom about this and she is like... huh? is it? good lo.. and things goes as normal. In fact is true, there is nothing special to feel happy about. I have to eat, sleep and work the next day too so what a big deal after all? I believe everyone is going to throw me more things to do! Damn!

22.01.2010 - An Idiot Challenge.

Again another security audit! I performed this audit last 2 weeks ago and surprisingly my client is asking for a re-audit after discovering the site I audited failed. i.e. not meeting the minimal requirement. The initial audit was issued with 17 findings; 60 % critical, 30 % high risk and 10 % minor breach. Everyone was down and not happy during the initial audit but to some that understood why they failed, they appreciate it and keen to improve the weak point / loop holes I discovered during the audit while others are dissatisfied and upset. Well this is not what I want; I am doing my job and this is not my requirement but their client's requirement. So why should I care enough to bother how they feels. So after my report is out, I was asked to conduct a re-assessment since my client wanted them to pass in the audit. It is a disappointment to me as why should a re-audit need to be carried out and worst of all it must be done within this month! It is just 3 weeks away from the initial audit, how could the factory able to catch up with the corrective action within 3 months? Well, I am paid to work so it leaves me no choice but to carry on with it and try to help them to pass instead of penalizing them again for the second times. Seriously I don't wish to visit them again for 2nd or 3rd times. But now I have to visit them again for 2nd time! Since this is a re-audit, I am expecting them to do better than the first audit. Everything goes as normal except seeing lots of practices are fakes. Yes it looks stupid to me but I don't bother much since I decided to help them to pass the audit than penalizing them. What for giving them so much of trouble since their client seems interested to get them pass than fail? may as well I help them to pass but of course not faking my report but helping them to achieve the targeted point. After I completed the audit, as I expected they failed again by not reaching the minimal passing point (51%) with 11 findings. Out of these 11 findings, 70% are critical requirements, 20 % are high risk requirement and remaining is minors. I was blunt during the discussion with the manager but he remains calm and admitted that it is due to their negligent and lack of knowledge in this standards. I go straight to the point that I do not wish to see them for the 3rd time and would like to offer them helps. I decided to remove 8 findings out of 11 and remains 3 in my reports with a condition that they need to feedback to me the corrective action within 3 working days. We had an agreement on this and I call up those key personnel in the factory for a closing meeting. Everyone was quiet and shares their opinions to solve the problem but most of them are more to preventing themselves being blamed for the findings. Some stupids even challenged me and claimed that he did comply to the requirement but somehow I discriminate him. Strange fellow. Out of 10 person in the room why the hell should I discriminate him? He was wondering why I only record 3 findings and others are not? See, I am willingly to help them but he is asking me this question which makes me really agitated. I challenge everyone that time with my anger and ask them if they wish me to put all the 11 in my report or should I reduce it to 3 only which is their only passing point? Everyone is quiet that time and some was panicked and trying to calm the situation. All of them asked for help to reduce it to 3 while the only silly fellow who questioned me keep quiet for the whole session right after that. Seriously I really hate him! He has being acting strange, proud and ignoring since early of the day. I try to tolerate with him and give him chances to explain and justify when I am auditing his section but he never learn it. Instead of respecting me, he chooses to go against me. Well, if you want to play rough I can be rough to you too. What a headache day. Like old says, If you want someone to respect you, you better start to respect people first! Earn your respect NOT ask for respect!

18.01.2010 - Day trip training

What a day. I have to rush for my day trip again to KL. Yesterday was a bad day for me. Flu and headache attack me badly yesterday evening making my day miserable. I was trying to sleep early but the headache was so killing and keep me awake until 2am. Worst of all I have to wake up at 5 am. I am now at the airport feeling sleepy and tired. Luckily the headache is away otherwise I don't know how am I going to through today. I feel awkard and really need rest or sleep for entire day. I really don't know when will I have that previleage. I think something is very wrong with my body and I really don't want to know what is happening. Living in normal condition is much better than knowing you are not well. Believe me!
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16.01.2010 - Moody Girl

I tried many ways to get along with this old lady but we never along all the time. Initially I agree i am a bad temper person but although I try to be patience but the environment doesn't seems to improve. I look at her and keep thinking what is wrong with us. Then I realize she is the problem maker. I think this is womans character; when you give ways they try to win over you and take advantage on you. I asked old friend of mine if he did have this kind of problem and he says common. The only solution is just stay low, quiet and give ways. Because if you try to solve or retaliate then she will not stop instead making things worsen. Strange is even if I give way she is acting bossy and showing me her tantrum. I really frustrated! Like today. I went to office to clear off old files, this old lady join me half way but was unhappy something I don't know. What I know is she is throwing thing on the floor purposely, mumbling, playing music with her notebook loudly despite my radio is turned on, walk out from the office purposely for couple of times and so on. I heard some from an old man that if woman behave like this man should just keep quiet and stay calm. Never fall to their trap or make them even worst. So I choose to keep quiet but she attack me and says why I am bad mood and act strangely. Honestly I don't know what is happening but I remain silent for few more mins. Well it makes her more mad. We ordered food for lunch and just to show me she is not happy, she refuse to have her lunch. I really speechless. Well you choose to be like that so enjoy it lo. It is not my stomach why bother? Well strange is she is not my girlfriend but colleague. No wonder she is still single until now.

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13.01.2010 - Nyanyok Oldman

Sometimes I do wonder why that old man got panic and triggered the whole world. I already headache since yesterday after receiving an email that a corporate audit scheduled in my office next week. Knowing this is not a regular audit I have before it gives me big impact today till my today's routine is affected. Guess I have to work this coming Saturday to sort things out and clearing all the back log files and records. I have too many things on my schedule and I have to add more things in my diary. I feel like giving up everything but just don't know why I feel heavy at all time when thinking of leaving this company. Despite having big pressure and tension this old man always like to trigger the tense without having a complete knowledge what he is going after. He just love to spoil people's day. Really wish to slap him and kick his butt.

09.01.2010 - Silent Killer

My gastric attack me again this early in the morning. Seriously I don't know why! Woke up early in the morning just to stuff something in my stomach and then back on my bed to continue my sleep until 12pm. I have lunch and watch TV for an hour and then out we go to Jusco supermarket and mom's friends house. By the time we reached home it is already 730pm. I wash my car and thought of cleaning my house partly so that I'll have more time to rest tomorrow. But was so sad when I notice there are white ants in my garden. I notice something strange at the plant near to the perimeter fencing where the each of the branch was partly covered by sands. How could sands cover branches that is approx. 1 feet above the ground. What else if it is not sign of white ant? I was shocked and tried to remove the sands and discovered there are some of them on the tree branch lingering around. I was so sad and really blunt what else I can do. Do I really need to spend thousand dollars to get rid of them? I did asked an advise from 1 of the pest control company but was told that soil treatment is required where each inches of the house wall shall be drilled with hole and injected with the poison to prevent it from getting them inside the house. I hate the smell, drilling things and of course the cost they going to charge me! But I don't know what else I can do to prevent this shits to eat all the woods in my house. What I worry most is the roof top structure that is made of thick hard wood. I thought of getting a bottle of white ant poison in liquid form, spray in the house and those infected area. But I was told by a friend that if you to disturb their colony they will shift to somewhere new which might be inside the house. I was so scared and now wondering what else I should do! Why must they destroy things? Can't they do something good like other ants?

08.01.2010 - Cruelty of Human Being

Sometimes I do not understand why some people would rather do something worthless for living. GOD have given us the ability to do something what we wanted compared to those who is unfortunate (handicap). We were given a pair of hand and legs but some of them use it to get someone hurt and sometime causes their lives. I cannot understand why can't they appreciate what they have and be a good person than doing something like this. GOD give them everything perfect but they misuse it and sometimes to the extend killing another living creatures. Especially own human! What a shame!

Today, some incident happened somewhere near to me. I was walking along the corridors near my office area after lunch. While I stop over at fruit stall, I heard yelling of 'fighting' next to me. Its my fellow colleague who shouted. Well, we used to joke and have fun while we walk but this time I was wrong. By the time I turn and check out what is happening, I see crowd somewhere 50 feet away and was told that 1 of the passer-by who is trying to enter his car was robbed. Strange part is, the robber is driving a Mercedes Benz and the other passenger who got out from the car was fully covered with mask. He was swinging his parang / sword to the victim , grab the bag and necklace of the victim. I think this man is already being tailed for sometimes otherwise who would steal something from a Proton Iswara driver. Although there is no casualties but everyone was frightened as the cruelty of the snatch thief and robbery in our work area is getting worst day by day. Despite hundred of reports being lodged and cases that happened for the past few years, yet none of the police force is taking initiatives to do something to prevent it from happening. The most what they can do is patrolling that area once in a blue moon. They really good at loafing around, drinking coffee, torturing those who is not guilty, bribes and making themselves like the king of the street.

See, they were given everything perfectly but they misuse it! Instead of make full use of it by searching a good job, earn from their both hands and sweats, they rather choose to harm people and steal people's wealth. Thank GOD there is this 'retribution' and I hope they realised it before it is too late.

03.01.2010 - Salad Making

I was dreaming of making my own Caesar salad after I've tried the one home-made by my BIL and sister in Singapore. Mom and I was so excited with the plan and went off to our regular shopping mall to grab some stuffs and sauce for our tomorrow Lunch. Unfortunately, we were disappointed that we cannot find Caesar salad sauce and crouton. Can you ever believe it? TESCO Extra & Carrefour is not selling this basic ingredient? I was so pissed off and keep on cursing these 2 silly giant supermarket. Well, I manage to grab other sauce since it leaves me no choice. I won't be so silly to drive down far away and return with empty handed. We manage to grab some vegetables, salad sauce, olive oil, bread (I'll make my own crouton), Italian Dressing, etc. I manage to grab some ingredients for my brownies that I plan to make it in 1 to 2 days time. Well, it is Sunday today; while I was cleaning the house, mom is busy chopping some of the vegetables. Left behind were tomatoes, Japanese cucumber, bread and eggs. Knowing that it is impossible to get a ready made Crouton, I surfed the net and hand-on myself just to satisfy myself to complete the salad course. Was so glad that it works and taste great. Along the dish I am going to mix for the day, I heated up the Garlic Bread I bought a night before. Wonderful healthy lunch and dinner we have for the day.

Bread cut into cubes

Marinate with ....

In oven for 15 mins

Crouton

Vege ready

White button mushroom
Tomato & Cucumber
Boiled Egg

Garlic Bread
Ready
Dressed

Mixed

31.12.2009 - New Year EVE

I was a bit excited on 31st since it is a the last day of year 2009. Am thinking of going out meeting friends and hang out somewhere to have drinks, chatting and side seeing. But work in office is damn tight that day after days I return from my trip to Singapore. A day after my return from the trip I've conducted a C-TPAT audit in 1 of the factor in Sungai Petani and was spending 2 days after that to clear off the reports and emails that flooding my mailbox. With many SMS flows in and plenty announcement of count down party at several hot spot, it makes me feel more happening than ever. But who dare to drive to that hot spot? I am expecting a massive jam like all the years. I was in the plan to call up a close friend of mine whom I didn't meet for years to sit at the seaside somewhere near to Butterworth waiting for the moment of the count down. Probably we can enjoy the fire works from the mainland instead of driving over to the island. Well we have being doing this for couple of years back but not lately since the day he was attached with his new girlfriend. Unfortunately, everyone rather sit in the house than driving out there because of the expected massive jam. Well, what I can do is calling some of my close friend and say Happy New Year! And guess what all of them preferred to be at home than going out. Damn they are making my new year mood vaporizing. Despite making me feel good in the eve, they keep telling me that every year has new year eve and new year celebration; so there is nothing special at all. Damn what a quote! So, I ended up sitting at home writing blogs and watching TV with my mom. Nothing much special except receiving plenty SMS and watching some stupid shows in the TV.

27.12.2009 - 4th day in SINGAPORE

It is my last day there. Morning breakfast was usual around 9 to 10 am but this time we have to take something heavy as we won't be able to make it for lunch to catch our flight at 3pm. So I tried something regular which is duck rice just to compare if the taste similar to our. Surprisingly, it is totally different than I have in my own country. Well, both have their speciality so there is nothing much to compare. I enclose the picture just to share how it looks alike. It's 1pm and we are now ready to take a move. Before I was reluctant to come but now I wish I could stay longer. The feeling of getting apart with my sister is really hard to bear on. I can feel it that mom do have the same feeling but only silence we have while waving for good bye at the departure gate. We know it is also sort of disturbance for us to be there for days... especially making a big mess in their house. Anyway we are very happy during our stay and thank you so much for your great hospitality jie! and sorry for giving you guys troubles for the past few days. Penang is no longer a stranger to us, but it makes me feel the big different between these 2 places. Arrival was in time as scheduled but taking a cab back is really a nightmare to me. The cost of the cab was blood-sucking and beyond my expectation. MYR110! Nothing much I can do but to spend it as we need to get back home. We are so tired but it never stop us from unpacking and cleaning up everything in the house. We search for our dinner in the late evening after we finish our jogging that day. Yes just to burn up some calories we took during our stay in Singapore. Seriously we are really blunt that time wondering what to eat for the day. We ended up Koay Teow soup. Look at the picture I posted, nice huh? That was the greatest night we ever have. We are back home sleeping on our own bed, pillow and blanket. Miss them so much.

26.12.2009 - 3rd Day in SINGAPORE

3rd day was great too. Everything was also planned accordingly. Breakfast was usual in the morning at home and then I go along with my BIL to the 1 of the car makeover shop for my BIL baby wash. Yes car wash and it took us hours to finish. Strange, how could this people spend that much money to groom their cars. It is just a machines that takes you from 1 place to the other. As long you look after them as usual, I guess it is enough. So, by the time we reach home, we are actually late for our appointment. I did not expect them to have appointment with someone else. It is my cousins! Seriously I don't really enjoy going to people's house and dining with those I am not well with. It leaves me no choice but to join them as what they planned. What I know is, I feel uncomfortable at all at their house seeing these people wandering what should I talk to them. So, as what we planned, we were then move forward to Bugis street meeting 1 of my friend. While we were on our way there, the appointment with her was cancelled and everyone was so pissed off. Well, that won't stop us from going there. We walk around that area and tasted a nice desert in one of the stall next to the mall. It is Mango Sago, Boiled Hawaii Papaya with fresh milk and Pulot Hitam. Damn delicious. We spend almost 2 horus there chatting and enjoying the desert before we head to another meeting. We were exhausted that time but that leave us no choice to carry on for the next meeting because it is an important meeting; In-Law's dinner. Yes another scary dinner. I am not good in this as I don't really know what should I say and do when I am on the table. Well, everything seems goes well and the food served is damn delicious. BIL's father is a happy go lucky man and he is good in choosing the best food for us. Everyone is tired that night but it never stop me from going jogging and climbing 18 floor's staircase since I put on too many things in my stomach for the day. Ahahahah.