28.02.2011 - Sick again?

Ha!!.... it is again end of month. Everything seems slow down especially my company business. I hate today because I feel weak and tired. It must be yesterday's drive to Ipoh. The drive at 3pm is really killing especially the weather. I have not enough sleep because of late hang out a night before but I have no other choice like I mentioned in my last blog. I feel cold and uneasy. I guess I am going to get big fever and flu soon. It is 9pm and I still feel uneasy and slightly running low battery. I took Panadol soluble and a tablet of flu medicine. I was hoping for a recovery or at least lighter than before but things getting worst. I have cough and running nose from then. I was so pissed off, took 2 teaspoons of cough syrup and straight headed to my room. I am now getting lazy and sleepy. Trying to write simple blog before jumping on my bed.

25.02.2011 - Her Grandma passed away

It is weekend and I was hoping to see her again for the entire weekend. It is nice to be together during the weekend but this time I don't think it will happen. When I was on my way back home, I dropped her a call as usual, chatting with her if everything is okay and she told me she is ok and her grandma already discharged from the hospital. Well, it is a good sign and she added that her grandma is now in Sungai Petani staying with her uncle and aunt. Since she no longer need to visit her grandma in hospital, I offered to pick her up on my way back just to spend sometimes with her. She agreed and we hang off our calls. While I driving back, less than 10 minutes, she called me again and told me her grandma passed away at Sungai Petani's Hospital due to difficulties in breathing. That is very strange. How could that happen if she is already fine and being released from Bagan Specialist Centre? Well, nothing much can be done; death is part of life and once it happen it happened. No reason to ask why. I pick her up as usual since she is alone at home and headed back home. She look down and sad knowing the sad news. I took my dinner quickly and accompany her for few hours until her parents call her that they need to go back Gopeng immediately. I sent her back home and knowingly she won't be here for few more days due to the wake and funeral. It will be a rough days soon and I hope she can take it as it is and be strong for whatsoever going to happen. This is part of life, whether you like it or not, once it happen there is not turning back and there is no reason behind. Be it and accept it.

27.02.2011 - Sunday Wake at Gopeng

I keep wandering around if it is necessary for me to be there. I mean the wake I am suppose to be at. It is stupid to ask around if I should go or not. To me it is a trouble and I used to be at home all the weekend and why should I waste my every single minute being out there especially at stranger's house? Come on; common sense I shall be there no question to be asked. I don't know I trouble myself to go that far for her grandma's wake. In principal I should not give any excuse or reason not to go; why my damn attitude makes me feel lazy and so irresponsible. I am trying to tell myself to take a move immediately but in return I keep finding excuses not to be there. I really fed up with myself. I called mom, sister, god sister, friend and anyone I am close with and their comments are similar. I have to be there no question asked. I woke up quite late today because I slept late yesterday at 4am. Check my facebook follow by browsing some websites. Went to Raja Uda to get my hair cut followed by lunch. I begin my driving after that and took me about 1 hour 30 mins to reach the destination. Lots of strange faces but I have no other choice except getting to know them and lay down quiet as possible. She was glad and happy to see me and her parents were surprised that I am there as well. We chat almost everything especially about the family things and took dinner together. Honestly I don't wish to have dinner but I just don't know why being forced again by my girlfriend. I just don't like it but forced to be it. I am angry indeed. Well after that her uncle the one fighting during last week at the hospital, spoken to me and apologized for being rude and emotional during that day. Well I don't bother that much about that incident because every family do have their own story behind. When the prayers starts, there is where I starts to get lonely. I sit for the whole 1st prayer session and decided to leave around 8pm. This is really a tiring trip. Since I was there, I decided to drop a call to my old friend in Ipoh and meet him up for light dinner. We chat and eat somewhere near to Jusco Ipoh and leaving Ipoh around 1030pm. I reached home at 12am and now sitting on my desk typing silly blogs. Wondering who the hell is reading this boring blogs.

24.02.2011 - Nesting Little Birds

I have being monitoring something since the past few days and it is so amazing knowing something special in the world. Birds nesting is1 of the most common things in this world but given the opportunity to have the progress in sight is pretty amazing. The nesting was exactly right in front of my house main gate on the plant's leaves somewhere my height. The leaves was sewn into a small envelope combination of several leaves with lots of small wood branches that makes them look in a round shape to cater eggs and chicks. My first look there were 3 eggs. Biggest mistake, I didn't even manage to take the photo. I don't know why. But after days, I see 3 little angels (chick - not sure if I am using the correct terms for that). And day by day it grows bigger and bigger. There are 2 birds being busy everyday serving foods to these angels and guess what they grow extremely fast. Within a week if I am not mistaken, they 3 little chicks turns to normal size birds and begin to learn flying. I was given the privilege yesterday to peep at them from inside my house on how they fly round and how the 2 parents searching for them and feed them. Its like seek and hide. I wish they are more to go in my house at least I will take all the photos from the start till the end. Man, I wish I have DSLR camera.

23.02.2011 - Ku Cheng Tse Temple

We were driving around and spotted this temple for quite sometimes. Since we are heading home nothing much to do, we decided to drop by offer some prayers and then headed back home resting. The temple looks simple, small and colorful from far away; and of course with the decoration and design, it is Siamese temple. Luckily I brought my camera phone along otherwise wont be able to share pictures in this blog. When i step my foot in, the temple looks great and contain the elements of Siamese but when you go in further, everything seem changed. Siamese are Buddhist and they only worship to Buddha. For this temple, it is Siamese structure but managed by Chinese so, overall, it is something mixed of Chinese Taoist and Siamese Buddhist. It is not offering only to the belated Liang Phor Thout but also to several Taoist Lords within the temple. Quite normal aren't they? Take a look at the screen shot. The visited temple is called The Ku Cheng Tse Temple Butterworth. According to the template they distributed for free, it says the temple were formed in 1963 a guidance from 1 of the famous Siamese Buddhist Monk named Liang Phor Thout. What I like most from this temple is, they place an instruction board that guides you through on how to place your jossticks 1 by 1 in accordance to the sequence. With that instruction there will be no way of getting yourself confused / mixed up. This 1 of the kind instruction I ever seen so far. Pretty cool aren't they. When I walked around, I notice the temple also offers free rice in small plastic pack and holy water. For those believes that the rice and holy water that being already offered to the God during the prayers that can give them blessing, they can get it free, every trip they visit the temple.

22.02.2011 - Stressful In Law

I am so stressful today. Work was abit pack in the office and with too many different things I need to run through I started to feel fed up with my job and begin to think of better opportunity and prospect. Well I definitely need to skill up my education level before searching for better opportunity.

I took a light jogs today with my colleague and then headed for my light dinner at Chai Leng Park alone. Called my girlfriend and visited her grandma who is in the Bagan Specialist Hospital. I get to meet her father's family members there. Spend almost an hour in the hospital accompanying them but unfortunately get to see them fighting each other for some misunderstanding. Well not strange to me because every family do have this kind of misunderstanding. Sometimes argument and fights will get them closer and understand each other better; provided they take thing positively and learn to accept things. While waiting for time to go back, she received a call from her mother's side family saying that 1 of their relative involved in an accident but fortunately no one is injured except the one who rammed their car from behind. Heard the motorcyclist is now in critical condition. Well this is what I call, no pain no gain. Sometimes young people do need to learn things in hard way. So I have to drive them back to her mom's family member to get things straighten up.

To me I am so stressed meeting up both sides family in a day. Honestly I am not well prepared. I was wearing my working attire, half jogging tracks, smelly and tiring. When I reached her mom's family house, I feel irritated and stressed. I dislike seeing too much of people. My sister says I am an anti-social person. Indeed I am! I dislike seeing too much of people and interact with those people that I don't know well. Imagine I have to take 2 families that I totally stranger to. I just wish my girlfriend understand my feels and avoid such in near future.

17.02.2011 - Chap Goh Meh

What is Chap Goh Meh all about? Seriously I don't know about the history or legend of Chap Goh Meh. What I learn from older generation is, Chap Goh Meh is the last day of Chinese new year celebration and also so call Chinese Valentine day. This is when teenagers, single adults and those yet to get married make wishes by throwing oranges to the sea. Sound ridiculous but this is what older generation believes. Some says it works but to me, it is more to disposing off old oranges that left over since CNY. Funny aren't they. For me it is another busy day ahead in office and also busy taking off new year's decorations. I did not celebrate anything except offering regular prayers to God that is in my house. There goes the 15 days of CNY. It passes so fast like hours instead of days. I don't really like CNY as we need to work like monkey to clean the house, buying things and serving people heavily during the 1st and 2nd day. I wish my house is a restaurant at least it is chargeable.

09.02.2011 - Hokkien New Year

This year, I am alone for 9th day prayer. Luckily I took lots of photo during the past few years at least it is now a guidance for me to figure out how to proceed with the prayer. In fact I have being with mom for years, so setting up and preparation of the prayer is not so difficult just that time that spend on getting those stuff is really killing me since my job is so pack since the day work started. I have being running around for the past few days preparing for the big prayers. I spend most of my free time in the evening planning and browsing those old picture what I need to do to get it done as it should be. A night before I took hours to glue red papers on the fruits and searching for suitable plates that matches the fruits and other edible products. I suppose to get things smaller portion since I am all alone this year but when I was in the night market yesterday I was like someone loose control; buying things like others did. The crowd was there and everyone seems happy to get thing ready. I was happy that time and keep buying things forgetting I am alone this year and I have to eat all of it instead of throwing after the prayers. I only discovered that I have overspend when I return home. Well, nothing wrong to get things more than it suppose to be but of course lesser when mom around.

Time reaches midnight and its time to get things ready. I think I did my job pretty well. Everything is ready around 9pm and I took my sweet little time bathing and getting ready for the night. I pick up my girlfriend around 1030pm whom have being offering to help me and accompany me for this year since mom is leaving me alone in the house doing it myself. At 1130pm, we got all things on the table and getting ready to start. The fire works out there is somehow a sign of midnight for those who have no watch or clock at home. The giant joss-stick is now placed in front of my house externally and placing/hanging the 8 ft fire crackers right exactly mid of the main entrance. This year I parked my car and my bike in the house unlikely years back where I usually remove it out and parked next door just to keep more space for the event. The space we have in the house is more enough to park more than 3 cars, so there are enough space for it. So, we started off with lighting up the giant joss-stick. fire crackers, burning gold (folded with gold color papers - some kind of origami folding techniques) and offer prayers to all the gods in the house with candles, joss-sticks and fruits. What really makes me feel strange and down is I am all alone in my family. No one is beside me except my girlfriend. I would say main purpose of this prayers is to gather all the family members somehow call reunion to offer prayers to God. But to me I am just alone and I don't really know what is call family now since no one is around for the prayers. Nevertheless, the prayers still need to carry on and continues in my family. Fire works are the only attraction that makes me feel warm and happy. Looking at the fireworks, it tells me there are lights deep in our heart, it is how we make it happen and happy like how we light it up. Prayers session ended an hour later. We have some light food served during the prayers and begin doing some cleaning before going on bed. There goes the day after days busy waiting for it to come.

05.02.2011 - 3rd day CNY

Mom needs to catch her flight at 925am. We woke up around 700 and left the house around 745am. I can feel the heaviness of leaving mom during the 3rd day of CNY. Seriously the house will be totally quiet without mom. It will go back to a quiet and lonely house like before. It is just the 3rd day and yet I cannot feel the new year mood at all especially knowing mom is leaving me on the 3rd day. I don't think anyone else would be able to feel it even my sibling. Sometimes being quiet is the best solution rather than mentioning it especially to those who is so pathetic and careless about others feeling. Well, seeing mom walking away from the boarding gate was a pain moment but it is still have to be it. Like it or not, I have to bear with it because it is a reality not imagination. I am lucky that my girlfriend is there accompanying me knowingly that I will be sad and lonely after that. Just that I cannot cry out loud that time because she is there. I just wish to cry out loud when I entered the car but with her around I don't think I want to do it. It is just a 3rd day and I was so afraid to go back home. We were loafing around in Butterworth, watched a movie and then looked for food to fill up out stomach since we already out from the house. We only return home early evening and took a nap before looking for dinner. What really make 2 of us together whole day was; both of our parents left us alone in the house during CNY. We have our sweet time being together for the 3rd day and probably for another 1 day since it is weekend. Wish there is no CNY.

04.02.2011 - 2nd day CNY

2nd day was more a less similar to the 1st day. The miserable starts from noon as well. Everyone seems to come and go like no body business. We remain busy like a day before serving, chatting and keeping all accompanied. I believe everyone knows that mom will be around on the 1st and 2nd day only; thus rushing to complete her day before she left to Singapore baby sitting her grandson. I just can't imagine what is going to happen to 3rd day without mom. We have less time together except serving like servant and cleaning the house for this CNY. This will be my first time having mom for only 2 days for CNY. This is not really a good year to me.

03.02.2011 - 1st Day CNY

Ha ha ha... as I expected 1st day is a miserable day. We are so free early in the morning, having our breakfast meal and then watching TV until noon. We were hoping that our friends and relationships comes 1 by 1 instead of together; unfortunately it never happen. The same happen again this year where everyone squeezed in the afternoon until the extend I am loosing my patient. I thought of buying can drinks or boxed drink but mom was hesitate that most visitors wont be able to finish their drinks; so we decided to buy a concentrated grape juice which will give us extra work to mix with plain water and ice cube before serving. And this time it is really a mess. With the outnumbers of visitors, we are hell of busy preparing for drinks and figuring out for more glasses than what we have. It is a tiring day. I cannot figure out why we need to go through this every year. Everything turns back to normal after 6pm when everyone is back home. We were so tired and sleepy when the sun goes down. Hoping for peaceful day the following day.

02.02.2011 - Eve CNY

It was my working day! But I chooses to take the afternoon shift since I need to be at home doing some prayers to my dad and grand parents; some traditional / culture things. Just for the CNY, we are struggling like a monkey getting things ready by doing major house cleaning, buy house groceries, set up some simple decoration in the house and of course doing some cooking as well. It makes me feel stupid sometimes. What is the big deal with CNY; seriously it is just another year ahead. Assuming there is no Chinese Calender, it will be another ordinary day. Mom was back since last Saturday and was asked to return to Singapore on the 3rd day of CNY since she needs to look after my nephew. What is new year if she is not around. My world will be quiet and lonely! Hmm.... speechless. Just the prayers things and midnight celebration is making the new year happening other than that, I feel nothing is prevailing at all. Strange is the damn weather is back to normal which is very dry, hot and hazy. I append some photo taken during the prayers in the morning. About reunion dinner, funny is, only 2 of us is having the dinner do you think it is reunion? Mom was cooking heavy for prayers in the morning. We tried to finish the dishes during lunch but didn't make it. Some left over were then served as side dish during the dinner. We have steamboat for our dinner and the amount of food mom bought is excessive. I cant imagine how am I going to finish it when she returns to Singapore. I went to work after lunch to complete my half day shift and returned back home around 5pm. We have dinner and then drove down to Seberang Jaya Sunway Carnival to do some last minute shopping to grab some ingredient for my cutter cake. No one was in the mall since most of the shops were closed for reunion dinner. Supermarket is so quiet and less people. That was the best time to do shopping indeed. When we were back home, I start my cake making until midnight. I didn't even notice it was New Year until I hear fire crackers from all around our place here. Luckily I manage to complete my cake and put it in the microwave oven otherwise I need to leave it rest awhile which might causes the cake making process abnormal. Take a look at the cake after baked.

01.02.2011 - Clean and Clean

My GOD. I wish there is no Chinese New Year at all. I am struggling to clean the house despite being busy with my office work. Have being travelling for the past few months and now even I am sick also I need to do the cleaning before mom come back. I need lot of rest!