Its Saturday and coming Sunday. I hate weekends. Woke up early in the morning... don't know what to do....
I watch a DVD - Vantage Point and now in the toilet doing some big 'deposits'. Now figuring out what to do and where to go. Need to take mom out to keep her mind busy. Talked to her yesterday and she told me that she is still the same as before. i.e. depressed. I asked her why but she unable to tell me the reason why. I after some talks I noted that she is actually feel lonely and too scare to be alone. Well, there is nothing much I can do now. I guess what my sister says is correct. She needs to be herself and learn to be independent. She is too dependent on me.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
25.06.2008 - No luck at all
I dreamt 4 digit number on Monday. And i remember that number till today. Somehow I forgot to buy these numbers today. So sad it came out in Magnum. Well.. if I would to have luck ... I wont be suffer since young .... hahahaa
23.06.2008 - Result says... SHE IS FINE
Aiya.... after all the trouble mom gaves me... finally result is out... SHE IS FINE. CT Scan and X-Ray shows she is 100% fine. Nothing except minor flu and cough. The swell on her both eyes is unexplanable. She can be discharge at anytime but I put her in the hospital for another day just to make sure she is fine and stable. Well... nothing much I can do now. She have to save herself.
Sunday, 22 June 2008
22.06.2008 - AGAIN admitted to Adventist Hospital.
Its Sunday and again another tough day for me. After all the suspense and tense i have been thru for the past 7 months; I have a thought that it is over and forever. I am back to normal; while mom is back to her daily routine with our hardworking maid. Of course as usual mom ... who complain alot about being bored and swell on her eyes and not feeling well... bla bla bla.. which I think .. she is trying to get more attention from me. Well I have being always in the house... taking her to anywhere she wants to and accompany her every free time I have. Yet she is still there .. taking her sweet time having all the nonsense 'thinking' that made her sleepless, stress and depressed. She have being complaining about her head that something is disturbing her, questioning her ownself plenty time why she have yet to recover, why she cant sleep, etc.
I conclude to her that she think too much that caused her sleepless. I talked to her slowly trying to comfort her and ease her mind. But I failed.
TODAY... I made a plan to take out for shopping, movie and dinner with a hope that she will let things go easily and stop thinking during free time. By Monday she will be starting her new job as a baby sitter. That would be a great plan to stop her from thinking. WHY baby sitting? see... she ask me to keep her occupied with something in order to stop thinking.. well.. I found 1 baby for her and she managed to find another to add on. So, I unveiled the plan to her that we are going out later .. but she immediately rejected and added that she feel very weak, unwell, sick, headache and numb on her both legs and hands. WOW.... thats scared me to HELL. It refresh me the moment the very first time she was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis; with the sympthom like numb, weak, ... etc.... SO what else you expect me to do? I shoot straight to my room put on my cloths and demanded my maid to pack necessary belonging ..... SHE IS GOING BACK TO THE HOSPITAL!
I drop a call to the hospital ;pre alerting them on the registration to grant me an access to the emergency without any trouble. I check the availability of the doctor but they push me from one extension to the other which at the end... it is unsolved. As usual la... I started off with my rough voice demanding to speak to the person in charge or Supervisor. Well it is solved then. See sometimes they need someone to complain or rude to get it done! Once we reached the hospital, she is rushed to the emergency for further attention but surprisingly... hahahahhaha... after i got my car parked; I saw my mom ... wandering around in the emergency room like one of the doctor. Would you believe that she need that extra emergency care with that condition? I begin to think that my mom is making a mess with me, i.e. telling me like she is so weak la this la that la... but at there... she is so strong... except a slight high on her blood pressure. Well nurses says to me that this is common to patient to have a slight high on their blood pressure which could be due to the environment in the hospital that projects them the bad impression of NO GOOD especially in the ER.
We waited at the visitor area, for an hour and finally the doctor arrived. Very funny, doc says nothing but ask me to refer to Dr Samuel (Neurologist) who is treating my mom's Myasthenia. I visited Samuel last 2 weeks and told him about my mom... he ask me to pay a visit to Dr Poey, and now this Dr Poey referred me to Samuel. Well... its like EURO 2008 kicking the fucking damn balls left n right. I stop him when he mention Dr. Samu......... before he end the 'el'... and ask why do doctors pushing patients? He surprised and keep quiet for awhile and continue look at my mom.. hahahaha... he then says ... OK.. send for brain scan and admit mom.. he ask mom is she want to go back or admit. I thought mom would say ... go back.. but she says... admit also OKAY... wah.... pening. hahahaha.... So .. arrange for admission lo. Send her for all the scan and tomorrow is her another judgement day. hahahaha....
I escorted her to the ward and sat next to her. Then drove back with my maid to collect more cloths and dry food for her. She looks fit and okay in the hospital. Well I guess she is hinting me to buy another house near to Butterworth than current house. We have a good talk just now about why is she so stress about but after an hour... she is back to her old mindset. I guess there is nothing much i can do now.. She need time to heal. I guess... well we'll see what is going to happen tomorrrow.
I conclude to her that she think too much that caused her sleepless. I talked to her slowly trying to comfort her and ease her mind. But I failed.
TODAY... I made a plan to take out for shopping, movie and dinner with a hope that she will let things go easily and stop thinking during free time. By Monday she will be starting her new job as a baby sitter. That would be a great plan to stop her from thinking. WHY baby sitting? see... she ask me to keep her occupied with something in order to stop thinking.. well.. I found 1 baby for her and she managed to find another to add on. So, I unveiled the plan to her that we are going out later .. but she immediately rejected and added that she feel very weak, unwell, sick, headache and numb on her both legs and hands. WOW.... thats scared me to HELL. It refresh me the moment the very first time she was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis; with the sympthom like numb, weak, ... etc.... SO what else you expect me to do? I shoot straight to my room put on my cloths and demanded my maid to pack necessary belonging ..... SHE IS GOING BACK TO THE HOSPITAL!
I drop a call to the hospital ;pre alerting them on the registration to grant me an access to the emergency without any trouble. I check the availability of the doctor but they push me from one extension to the other which at the end... it is unsolved. As usual la... I started off with my rough voice demanding to speak to the person in charge or Supervisor. Well it is solved then. See sometimes they need someone to complain or rude to get it done! Once we reached the hospital, she is rushed to the emergency for further attention but surprisingly... hahahahhaha... after i got my car parked; I saw my mom ... wandering around in the emergency room like one of the doctor. Would you believe that she need that extra emergency care with that condition? I begin to think that my mom is making a mess with me, i.e. telling me like she is so weak la this la that la... but at there... she is so strong... except a slight high on her blood pressure. Well nurses says to me that this is common to patient to have a slight high on their blood pressure which could be due to the environment in the hospital that projects them the bad impression of NO GOOD especially in the ER.
We waited at the visitor area, for an hour and finally the doctor arrived. Very funny, doc says nothing but ask me to refer to Dr Samuel (Neurologist) who is treating my mom's Myasthenia. I visited Samuel last 2 weeks and told him about my mom... he ask me to pay a visit to Dr Poey, and now this Dr Poey referred me to Samuel. Well... its like EURO 2008 kicking the fucking damn balls left n right. I stop him when he mention Dr. Samu......... before he end the 'el'... and ask why do doctors pushing patients? He surprised and keep quiet for awhile and continue look at my mom.. hahahaha... he then says ... OK.. send for brain scan and admit mom.. he ask mom is she want to go back or admit. I thought mom would say ... go back.. but she says... admit also OKAY... wah.... pening. hahahaha.... So .. arrange for admission lo. Send her for all the scan and tomorrow is her another judgement day. hahahaha....
I escorted her to the ward and sat next to her. Then drove back with my maid to collect more cloths and dry food for her. She looks fit and okay in the hospital. Well I guess she is hinting me to buy another house near to Butterworth than current house. We have a good talk just now about why is she so stress about but after an hour... she is back to her old mindset. I guess there is nothing much i can do now.. She need time to heal. I guess... well we'll see what is going to happen tomorrrow.
Thursday, 19 June 2008
18.06.2008 - Shall I withdraw it or NOT?
Today is a very happy day .. why? visited the Mount Miriam Hospital... doc gave us good news that the scan result is fine and mom is now free like a bird. Well ya, I did spoke to him about this before but thru phone which is not really that 'real' you know... SO... both of us are so happy when doc mentioned it to us face to face.. just cant wait to celebrate. But how? dunno havent figure out yet.. hahahah...
See I thought this will be the end but of course a periodically check up is still necessary la... but somehow ... doctor.. is ... you cant believe it.. He demanded all his nurse that presence in his room where we were in to go off for a private talk with me. I was like... huh??? what is it la? Well... it is a great kick off by a nonformal talk... until he jump to his intention. Hmm.... He is asking for my favour to withdraw my complaint that I lodged last week. I was like stunt there wondering ... why do I have to do that but I kept quiet waiting for his explanation. He told me that ... the letter is a great impact to his nurse until the extend of being called for several times for an investigation and interview by the management. Ya I got my jaw hanging with a shock look. He further added that this nurse has been serving perfectly for almsot 3 years in his clinic until last week that she accidentally forgotten to call me up to postpone the appointment. Hmm.. I dont think this is acceptable still.. cos a mistake is still a mistake. Assume it is an emergency.. how? well he continues.. .. .. and says that the nurse is an orphanage, just got married, and husband is currently not well, she is having family problem, etc. which have caused her too busy and stressed. So this could be the reason that she overlooked on the appointment.... he further added that she is a very good nurse so far and he doesn't want to loose this good nurse just because of 1 small mistake that leads to a big complaint which might put her job a question mark???????
So what do you think? should I send a letter to their CEO to withdraw the letter? I am so indecisive on this... To me a mistake is still a mistake but somehow I did not expect to that extend.... pls help
See I thought this will be the end but of course a periodically check up is still necessary la... but somehow ... doctor.. is ... you cant believe it.. He demanded all his nurse that presence in his room where we were in to go off for a private talk with me. I was like... huh??? what is it la? Well... it is a great kick off by a nonformal talk... until he jump to his intention. Hmm.... He is asking for my favour to withdraw my complaint that I lodged last week. I was like stunt there wondering ... why do I have to do that but I kept quiet waiting for his explanation. He told me that ... the letter is a great impact to his nurse until the extend of being called for several times for an investigation and interview by the management. Ya I got my jaw hanging with a shock look. He further added that this nurse has been serving perfectly for almsot 3 years in his clinic until last week that she accidentally forgotten to call me up to postpone the appointment. Hmm.. I dont think this is acceptable still.. cos a mistake is still a mistake. Assume it is an emergency.. how? well he continues.. .. .. and says that the nurse is an orphanage, just got married, and husband is currently not well, she is having family problem, etc. which have caused her too busy and stressed. So this could be the reason that she overlooked on the appointment.... he further added that she is a very good nurse so far and he doesn't want to loose this good nurse just because of 1 small mistake that leads to a big complaint which might put her job a question mark???????
So what do you think? should I send a letter to their CEO to withdraw the letter? I am so indecisive on this... To me a mistake is still a mistake but somehow I did not expect to that extend.... pls help
Friday, 13 June 2008
13.06.2008 - 513? Friday 13th?
hahahaha... ridiculous... 513... infact I didn't realised at all.. my fren from a bank alert me. Well, nothing special today. Just a bit sad that 1 of my good fren is a gay... worsen he ask me to... .. .. make love with him... I can't believe it... he is so good looking... but a gay... damn... I told him I am NOT de same species as him but he never give up lo. Aiya looks like i have to give up this good fren.
2 hours ago.. i received a call from a doc from Mount Miriam. Can you imagine the doctor you spoke to 2 days ago call you again? The first thing come to my mind; bad one of course! I am so speechless when he says 'Its me Dr Rakesh'. Honestly.... my heart beats triple the normal speed and hoping he wont be giving me a bad news. THANK GOD ... he called to say sorry on behalf of his hospital for the incidents that happen on Monday. See how responsible he is... HUH? yaya... i lodge a complain to the CEO.... I thought this should be addressed to the management but somehow it was channelled to the doctor who is busy treating patience... I really wonder how they got the Quality Management System Certification. hm....
2 hours ago.. i received a call from a doc from Mount Miriam. Can you imagine the doctor you spoke to 2 days ago call you again? The first thing come to my mind; bad one of course! I am so speechless when he says 'Its me Dr Rakesh'. Honestly.... my heart beats triple the normal speed and hoping he wont be giving me a bad news. THANK GOD ... he called to say sorry on behalf of his hospital for the incidents that happen on Monday. See how responsible he is... HUH? yaya... i lodge a complain to the CEO.... I thought this should be addressed to the management but somehow it was channelled to the doctor who is busy treating patience... I really wonder how they got the Quality Management System Certification. hm....
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
11.06.2008 - the best day in my life
I am writing this with tears....
I cant answer myself why am I crying for the past 15 minutes ago... I am happy.. very happy today that Mount Miriam Doc called 15 minutes ago to reveal a very good news about mom. The CT Scan shows no signage of cancer cell in my mother lungs and liver. It was a tremendous and suspense moment.... I was trying hard to call the doc since an hour ago and the doc was too busy to reveal the result. 30 times he rejected my call and demanded me to call him back 3 minutes then 15 mins then another 15 mins. I am shivering, cold and wandering around in my cubical work space waiting for his call. At 4.45pm he called and told me... the result is very GOOD. The suspected metastasis cell found in the liver no longer exist. Thank you doc RAKESH RAMAN... you have being a wonderful doctor.
Dear GOD u r a great savour. Thank you!
I cant answer myself why am I crying for the past 15 minutes ago... I am happy.. very happy today that Mount Miriam Doc called 15 minutes ago to reveal a very good news about mom. The CT Scan shows no signage of cancer cell in my mother lungs and liver. It was a tremendous and suspense moment.... I was trying hard to call the doc since an hour ago and the doc was too busy to reveal the result. 30 times he rejected my call and demanded me to call him back 3 minutes then 15 mins then another 15 mins. I am shivering, cold and wandering around in my cubical work space waiting for his call. At 4.45pm he called and told me... the result is very GOOD. The suspected metastasis cell found in the liver no longer exist. Thank you doc RAKESH RAMAN... you have being a wonderful doctor.
Dear GOD u r a great savour. Thank you!
Monday, 9 June 2008
09.06.2008 - What a silly day
Well, today; is a very silly day to us. As scheduled in the appointment card; we went to Mount Miriam hospital (a cancer hospital) for CT Scan @ 1000 and expecting to see doc @1500. We arrived slightly early around 0945 and did the registration as usual at the main receptionist center and heading towards the clinic counter for further instruction. Unexpectedly the nurse on duty told me that doc will be out @1100 due to emergency. That really surprise me as my mom's appointment card spells that we have made an appointment to meet him up @1500... so what is this? .. patiencely I asked the nurse again what is the next step since the card says mom need to to be CT Scanned today. Well without any comment she instructed me to head to the scanning department and deal with them directly and hopefully the result would be able to be ready before 1100. I crossed my fingers and hoping to see the doc in time as what she proposed.
So without waiting we rush to the scanning department and then to the teller to get the payment done. Hmm... RM430 collected, receipt issued and yes scanning run as usual. Nearly 20 minutes later, mom egress from the room and I immediately approach the nurse; seeking for her help to expedite the report in order to meet the doc time @1100. Well this time I am very pissed off. U know wat? SHE told me the CT Scan Doc is not in, and the result is expected to be out only on the next following day. I was shocked and silence for a while wondering what the HELL is happening to this hospital.... Unsatisfactory, I ask again n again why no one call me that the whole hospital docs is on emergency and surprisingly she said, the CT Scan doctor resigned. No one will be able to review the scan and generate a report. OKAY let me get it again, ONE. She says doc is not in; TWO: The CT Scan doctor resigned. THREE: Who the hell running the department then?????
I am so angry that time and went straight to the clinic counter lodging a complain why I was not being informed that the hospital is in emergency status or short of expert? Damn it takes me to drive from Kedah to Penang and applying an emergency leave but ends up NO ONE IN THE HOSPITAL? Next, the nurse did not apologize but instead demanded me to call her again this coming Thursday for the result. See something is very funny here. CT Scan nurse told me that the result will be ready on Tuesday. Today is Monday. And then the clinic nurse says doc will be on leave on Tuesday, and she will be on leave on Wednesday. SO????? HOW? I asked her HOW? she say call her on Thursday! This is ridiculous. Unacceptable and unbelievable. Well do I have any choice?
Since I already in Penang Island, I decided to carry forward my mom's medical check on her Myasthenia Gravis at Adventist Hospital. I call them up to rearrange the meet up from upcoming Wednesday to Today and thank GOD they say OKAY. I took mom there and as usual... the registration and blood sampling was carried out. Clinic nurse told us that we need to wait for at least 2 hours to have the blood test result ready. Well, if this is the procedure, I have no choice but to accept it. We decided to go out for lunch and an instant shopping at the Queensbay Mall. We drove out from the hospital and head to the mall without waiting any longer. Was quite exciting because I am planning to take her for movie; Indiana Jones.
So without waiting we rush to the scanning department and then to the teller to get the payment done. Hmm... RM430 collected, receipt issued and yes scanning run as usual. Nearly 20 minutes later, mom egress from the room and I immediately approach the nurse; seeking for her help to expedite the report in order to meet the doc time @1100. Well this time I am very pissed off. U know wat? SHE told me the CT Scan Doc is not in, and the result is expected to be out only on the next following day. I was shocked and silence for a while wondering what the HELL is happening to this hospital.... Unsatisfactory, I ask again n again why no one call me that the whole hospital docs is on emergency and surprisingly she said, the CT Scan doctor resigned. No one will be able to review the scan and generate a report. OKAY let me get it again, ONE. She says doc is not in; TWO: The CT Scan doctor resigned. THREE: Who the hell running the department then?????
I am so angry that time and went straight to the clinic counter lodging a complain why I was not being informed that the hospital is in emergency status or short of expert? Damn it takes me to drive from Kedah to Penang and applying an emergency leave but ends up NO ONE IN THE HOSPITAL? Next, the nurse did not apologize but instead demanded me to call her again this coming Thursday for the result. See something is very funny here. CT Scan nurse told me that the result will be ready on Tuesday. Today is Monday. And then the clinic nurse says doc will be on leave on Tuesday, and she will be on leave on Wednesday. SO????? HOW? I asked her HOW? she say call her on Thursday! This is ridiculous. Unacceptable and unbelievable. Well do I have any choice?
Since I already in Penang Island, I decided to carry forward my mom's medical check on her Myasthenia Gravis at Adventist Hospital. I call them up to rearrange the meet up from upcoming Wednesday to Today and thank GOD they say OKAY. I took mom there and as usual... the registration and blood sampling was carried out. Clinic nurse told us that we need to wait for at least 2 hours to have the blood test result ready. Well, if this is the procedure, I have no choice but to accept it. We decided to go out for lunch and an instant shopping at the Queensbay Mall. We drove out from the hospital and head to the mall without waiting any longer. Was quite exciting because I am planning to take her for movie; Indiana Jones.
For somehow I don't know what i have taken this morning, I was caught with severe stomacache. I quickly rush to the nearby petrol kiosk and jump into the toilet even in the heavily rain condition. I start my business and ... BOOOMMM.... at last.... Hahahaha... but I got myself all wet because that silly toilet roof leaks. I thought it was a small leak but once I am done with my business I notice I got myself all wet. Very wet; imagine you are standing in the wide open area barely uncover. Total wet. I quickly rush out and ran to my car and thanks to the heavy rain too; for making it more worst than before. Mom was laughing at me wonder what I am doing in the toilet. Bathing or fell off into a drain. hahahahaha... Well nothing much I can do. Since we are going for shopping; maybe I can get one cheap T-shirt to replace it.
SO we went to the mall walk to the nearest shop selling men's shirt. ESPIRIT. We ran thru all the shirts ( you can imagine a silly guy looking for a shirt with wet shirt on ) and looking for something that affortable and goodlooking. Haha... i got one in green color; Cost me RM89.90. Do I have any choice? hahaha.. buy la... Then go to another shop... buy a pair of shoe... Camel Active cost me RM149.00 hahahaha... see what happen ends up I over spent.... hahaha.. anyway kind of exciting; emergency shopping....Well I am back home now.. great news is the Adventist result is very good. Doc has reduce the medication dosage and will only require follow up after 1.5 month. Guess how much the medicine cost me.... RM1040.00. Killing huh ???? That is how hospital earn big money la...
okla.. time for dinner... pen off now.
Friday, 6 June 2008
05.06.08 - Sleepy day
Its a boring day today. My flu and cough remains and the medication makes me drousy since morning. hehehe... i took a nab after lunch.. psshh.. no one know... So dad that I have to cancel my appointment - dinner today. What a day. But someone cheer up my day. Thanks Jennifer; it is a great surprise you call me up today. I didnt expect u will be the first to read my blog. ok la.. i am still strong and standing still to bear all this don't worry.
So back to my day...
Went to petrol station today and wallup it cost me RM110 to fillup the tank. Damn ... I guess it is time for me to ride my scooter to work. hehehe... can you imagine me with the scooter? Aiya scooter also don't know how much the petrol gonna cost me. This piece of crap drink petrol le.... wat to do.. MADE IN MALAYSIA ma..
Mom is busy today. Preparing dumpling and chatting with her friends. So glad that she is busy today otherwise I will be hearing alot of her complains; boring, not well, don't know what to do, etc. Well we are back home now; watching tv, and planning for tomorrow activities.
Ok la nothing so special about today. Ciao
Thursday, 5 June 2008
1 months back
Took my mom to Mount Miriam for regular check up. CT Scan conducted and result was unacceptable. The cell initially found in her lung is no longer exist, but found a suspected metastasis cell approx. 2cm - in liver. My GOD! What is happening? why ? how can? Doc further did a physical check on her breast and again found something on her right breast. Again another suspect. I thought everything will be fine but somehow good things never being on my side. What else? i am expecting for something worst after this. I ask him whats next????
Ya got scolded by him ... forbeing so negative. hahahaha... so.. he demand for a mamogram test a day after and then another CT scan a month later. U can imagine how am i going to go thru these 1 month.
Anyhow this is life, I have to be strong to go thru this. Took her to the hospital again for mamogram and confirmed that the breast 'thing' .... is okay. nothing to worry. But liver... 1 month to go.
Should i pray? or just face the truth? i have being praying so hard but the end... nothing goood is on my side.... imagine!!!
Ya got scolded by him ... forbeing so negative. hahahaha... so.. he demand for a mamogram test a day after and then another CT scan a month later. U can imagine how am i going to go thru these 1 month.
Anyhow this is life, I have to be strong to go thru this. Took her to the hospital again for mamogram and confirmed that the breast 'thing' .... is okay. nothing to worry. But liver... 1 month to go.
Should i pray? or just face the truth? i have being praying so hard but the end... nothing goood is on my side.... imagine!!!
Posted 06.04.08 @ Hi5
Months being mising from the journel. i am back now. its a tough time since december 2007. mom was dignosed with Myasthenia Gravis and she collapse the day I returned from KL trip. I was on the sofa that time taking my sweet time resting after so much of rush since the day I got my car crashed; accident i mean.... For a sudden mom claimed that she is very ill, headache, cant breath and fainted when she tried to walk to the kitchen..... i tot it was normal and took it as easy as I can but when her condition persist i immediately rush her to the hospital.
2 weeks before; I met in an accident that caused me travelling with bike only... luckily my frens.. Mr. Lai and Mr. Praga borrowed me their cars for few days... Loon another fren of mine, called and offered to help financially. U know what.. these are true frens. Thank you so much.
Continue...
I took mom to hospital @ 1130pm the day I returned from KL and put her in emergency room (Adventist hospital) for further examination. The result, she is diagnosed with severe myasthenia gravis. Honestly I don't know how bad it was because I don't know what it is all about. I am so sad and scare to hell what is going wrong with my mom for a sudden?? I am alone and was so lost in the dark. I don't know what to do and whom should i call to help. It is 1230 am and i am very lost and worsen ... I am alone. After she is settled down in the hospital, I went back home @ 0230 and plan to have a good rest. But that is my worse night I ever been thru. Being so lonely in the empty house not knowing my mom is sick for so long. I can't do anything much except blaming myself being so useless. I visited mom the next day and doc tolf me that they found a tumor/thymoma on her chest a size of 1.7 x 2.7 cms. And of course should it be malignant or benign.. no one knows unless it is removed and tested. I immediately authorized the removal but was rejected by the doc as mom is very ill and too weak to go for surgery. Nothing much can be done except sit and wait for her to get stronger with prescribed medication. Days by days goes and i spend most of my time with mom in the hospital for a week and finally she is discharged. Doc says nothing much can be done except go back home and rest. I took her back home and back to the hospital a week later for check up. Surprisingly doc says she is going to be fit for the surgery by next week. I am so glad that everything is going to be final soon but day after ... again she collapsed. I rushed her to the hospital and this time in ICU! The surgery was then postponed until further notice. Another solution araised. In order to keep her strong from this; I have to choose 2 options which gonna cost me MYR25k for 4 days. Blood transplant or placelet replacement. I am lost again and again. Thank GOD she was given a day monitoring if there is a need to go for the options; and the next day.. she back to normal. The options are history.
2 weeks done; and as usual spending days with her in the hospital, finally she is fit to discharge to rest at home. This time.. she is really good to go... back home... 2 weeks later she went thru the major operation removing the thymoma from her chest; abutting her heart and located between the heart and lungs. Doc looks weird when I questioned him on the outcome of the operation. He explained that the thymoma cell was found penetrating the capsul that covers the thymoma and infected part of the lungs. To worsen his explanation he says, he has removed whatever he can physically seen which includes part of her lungs while those he cant it is still there. Specimen were sent for testing; 4 days later it was confirmed.... Malignant! It is a week before Chinese New Year.. AGAIN I am lost to no where. I decided to keep it as a secret and let her go thru a wonderful new year. I never lied to my mom but now I am forced to do it for her good sake. It is so painful to me to lie something like this to my mom. I cant sleep well every night and cant consentrate on anything i do.
Days past and everything is going smoothly during the new year... on the 9th day of CNY i took her to a regular check up and there is when we (Doc & I) unveiled the truth to her. She is blunt and crying non stop after knowing this but she doesn't aware that how diff I have to go thru with the pain for weeks being sad and pretending like nothing happen so far. She blame everything on me for being a liar. Thats really hurts me but I took it positively. I took her to Mount Miriam; a cancer hospital and immediately seek for oncology advise. The great news is... she only need to go thru the radiation and not the chemo as the cell observed which has been removed is non spreadable at that time. Full course of radiation shall be applied - 30 times everyday for 6 weeks immediately.
I took half day off for these 6 weeks driving her up to the hospital everyday from Mon to Fri hoping everything will be fine soon. Of course thanks to my company / management for being so understanding. Time passby very fast and yes we managed to fight thru the 6 weeks. During this 6 weeks, I've seen many patients which are even worse than my mom.. some are young while some are lonely but for sure... all of them are strong and full of fighting spirit. Worthwhile the pain and suffers, it heals. During my first visit, we met an average aged lady (muslim patient) who is so humble and friendly. We never met before but she gives us (mom and i) a very good advise and motivation. She told us that she is half way to death but she fight till today and now she is walking like others out there... Somehow being so stupid and down, i did not manage to get her name and phone number... we really owe her alot for helping us. Without her... we both probably lost in no where and sad till down ground. I thank GOD so much today that mom has done her 30 treatments and currently resting at home while waiting for next round check up to determine zero infection by next month. I hope and pray to GOD that everything shall be fine to her and if there should be any obstacles coming to her, please put it to me than her. I am young and strong to fight compared to her. Of course... i pray hard that both of us are in soundly.
2 weeks before; I met in an accident that caused me travelling with bike only... luckily my frens.. Mr. Lai and Mr. Praga borrowed me their cars for few days... Loon another fren of mine, called and offered to help financially. U know what.. these are true frens. Thank you so much.
Continue...
I took mom to hospital @ 1130pm the day I returned from KL and put her in emergency room (Adventist hospital) for further examination. The result, she is diagnosed with severe myasthenia gravis. Honestly I don't know how bad it was because I don't know what it is all about. I am so sad and scare to hell what is going wrong with my mom for a sudden?? I am alone and was so lost in the dark. I don't know what to do and whom should i call to help. It is 1230 am and i am very lost and worsen ... I am alone. After she is settled down in the hospital, I went back home @ 0230 and plan to have a good rest. But that is my worse night I ever been thru. Being so lonely in the empty house not knowing my mom is sick for so long. I can't do anything much except blaming myself being so useless. I visited mom the next day and doc tolf me that they found a tumor/thymoma on her chest a size of 1.7 x 2.7 cms. And of course should it be malignant or benign.. no one knows unless it is removed and tested. I immediately authorized the removal but was rejected by the doc as mom is very ill and too weak to go for surgery. Nothing much can be done except sit and wait for her to get stronger with prescribed medication. Days by days goes and i spend most of my time with mom in the hospital for a week and finally she is discharged. Doc says nothing much can be done except go back home and rest. I took her back home and back to the hospital a week later for check up. Surprisingly doc says she is going to be fit for the surgery by next week. I am so glad that everything is going to be final soon but day after ... again she collapsed. I rushed her to the hospital and this time in ICU! The surgery was then postponed until further notice. Another solution araised. In order to keep her strong from this; I have to choose 2 options which gonna cost me MYR25k for 4 days. Blood transplant or placelet replacement. I am lost again and again. Thank GOD she was given a day monitoring if there is a need to go for the options; and the next day.. she back to normal. The options are history.
2 weeks done; and as usual spending days with her in the hospital, finally she is fit to discharge to rest at home. This time.. she is really good to go... back home... 2 weeks later she went thru the major operation removing the thymoma from her chest; abutting her heart and located between the heart and lungs. Doc looks weird when I questioned him on the outcome of the operation. He explained that the thymoma cell was found penetrating the capsul that covers the thymoma and infected part of the lungs. To worsen his explanation he says, he has removed whatever he can physically seen which includes part of her lungs while those he cant it is still there. Specimen were sent for testing; 4 days later it was confirmed.... Malignant! It is a week before Chinese New Year.. AGAIN I am lost to no where. I decided to keep it as a secret and let her go thru a wonderful new year. I never lied to my mom but now I am forced to do it for her good sake. It is so painful to me to lie something like this to my mom. I cant sleep well every night and cant consentrate on anything i do.
Days past and everything is going smoothly during the new year... on the 9th day of CNY i took her to a regular check up and there is when we (Doc & I) unveiled the truth to her. She is blunt and crying non stop after knowing this but she doesn't aware that how diff I have to go thru with the pain for weeks being sad and pretending like nothing happen so far. She blame everything on me for being a liar. Thats really hurts me but I took it positively. I took her to Mount Miriam; a cancer hospital and immediately seek for oncology advise. The great news is... she only need to go thru the radiation and not the chemo as the cell observed which has been removed is non spreadable at that time. Full course of radiation shall be applied - 30 times everyday for 6 weeks immediately.
I took half day off for these 6 weeks driving her up to the hospital everyday from Mon to Fri hoping everything will be fine soon. Of course thanks to my company / management for being so understanding. Time passby very fast and yes we managed to fight thru the 6 weeks. During this 6 weeks, I've seen many patients which are even worse than my mom.. some are young while some are lonely but for sure... all of them are strong and full of fighting spirit. Worthwhile the pain and suffers, it heals. During my first visit, we met an average aged lady (muslim patient) who is so humble and friendly. We never met before but she gives us (mom and i) a very good advise and motivation. She told us that she is half way to death but she fight till today and now she is walking like others out there... Somehow being so stupid and down, i did not manage to get her name and phone number... we really owe her alot for helping us. Without her... we both probably lost in no where and sad till down ground. I thank GOD so much today that mom has done her 30 treatments and currently resting at home while waiting for next round check up to determine zero infection by next month. I hope and pray to GOD that everything shall be fine to her and if there should be any obstacles coming to her, please put it to me than her. I am young and strong to fight compared to her. Of course... i pray hard that both of us are in soundly.
New Blog
Hey... its my first day... in my first blog... thanks for visiting.
Lets talk about my day...
It is a boring day today. Everyone is talking about fuel hike. I cant imagine what is going to happen by August when 1 litre of petrol goes until MYR4.00. Aiyah.. watever...
Anyway thanks for visiting my blog.
Lets talk about my day...
It is a boring day today. Everyone is talking about fuel hike. I cant imagine what is going to happen by August when 1 litre of petrol goes until MYR4.00. Aiyah.. watever...
Anyway thanks for visiting my blog.
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