I aware that dramas are make up stories. But after watching these episodes; I have some feels that makes me feel strange the whole night. I tried to throw out here but somehow it is difficult. The feels is about the same when I was down loosing my 1st love. The feel of burn in my heart, or somehow like dislocated upside down is so hard to overcome. I feel.... sad, lonely and jealous; I am not so sure if these words are the best to describe. I keep enlighten myself and says it is just a drama and of course it is a make up story but the feel is so strong that makes me think everything is possible in any sense.
I can see the warmest of loves in this drama should it be among brothers and sister, loving partners, relatives, etc., but why I have nothing similar like them? I can see loves being pouring among each others, happiness being sharing among each one fo them, problems being solved by putting all hands together and moving on any obstacles together without any one being left behind. I can see couples are sharing thoughts, loves, difficulties and being together; I can see parents are there to listen and jokes with them, I can see sharing or burdens, I can see non of them running away from the truth and difficulties, I can see the bad one turns good, I can see everything in this drama which best describe wonderful family. Why not me?
It is shameful to write something like this but I really jealous seeing ppl walking around with someone holding their hands and sharing tears and happiness together. Everytime I am around with seniors; they love throwing questions that doesnt hurt me but makes me fall to ground after I am up high looking forward. I want to have one and of course I want to have my own family but I cant see one! I can see so many obstacles in that drama that being together is really tough enough especially going thru the red and blues moment. Pain and tears comes before happiness and marriage. Is this the truth that it is a package of loves? I have tears on my cheeks twice; walking in darkness and silence pain throught out my life. Am I done yet or do I still need to carry on with these package if I wanted to come out with my own family? I am so lost and now 31; without anything except loneliness, worries, regrets, and wonders why should I go on with this awful life?
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