Blogging is part of my hobby nowadays but I started to realized that writing too much of things in the blog not only can ease my loneliness and letting 'thing' goes away, but it affect my life too. I never realised how bad this going to happen but I can see it is making me more lonely than I expected. I was like shocked when I notice friends of mine telling me that they have read my blog and act strangely to me after that especially after knowing my love life and the tough life I gone through. Well I didn't choose to be what I am, I was given something that I don't want. I do not have the chance to choose but I believe I have done my best to overcome the circumstances and obstacles. What is friends for if they condemn you more than appreciate you. To me I don't think this kind of friend is worth while to be with.
I thought unveiling my experience is just to let it go here and may help other to learn what I have gone through and realizing the good and bad in live; but some took it seriously and assume I am just another bad person that has no future to be with as a friend or partner. Should I continue writing ignoring their response or the other way round? Well, I believe being honest in life is important, therefore I do not see any reason why I should limit myself in my own blog just because of some silly readers that thought I am just another bad guy that cannot be trusted. Being commenter is good but to judge someone without knowing him further is not a good idea.
I am so disappointed that I am ruining my own life by telling everyone about myself. I thought blogging is fun where taking out thigns from myself and sharing with someone about how things goes will makes me stronger and open. But I was wrong. Feedback from several female friends of mine doesn't seems good at all. They have predicted that I am not a good guy and assuming I am just another boring man (indeed I am), womanizer and someone that cannot gurantee a great marriage life. Blow me down! I was like huh???? what is this all about? Sincerely I didn't intend to give that kind of impression but what I have in mind is putting my things in the blog is something like talking to someone about my problems and easing my heavy burden. If someone can have that thought that I am not an ideal man, well I am going to let it be what you wanted to be but I never going to pretend or change to someone you wanted me to be. Getting to know someone is to accept them who and what they are. Not assuming and rejecting them for what they are.
I love blogging whenever I am free. I am not an English literate or somehow an expert in English language. Although I realised that my English is sucks but it never stop me from writing what I am and what I wanted to be. If you think this is cheap or funny then be it. As long as I feel I am comfortable with, I don't need to bother who is going to condemn or judging me for what I have written. If you doesn't like to read, then back off, no one is putting a gun on your head forcing you to read what I am writing here. What I need is a friend to be with, to talk to and to share things. If you cannot be one of them, fuck off!
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