I hate having bad dreams... It was my nice evening yesterday. No doubt I have to check my emails and doing my job, it never stop me from watching TV together with my lovely mummy. Strange is, I am so tired and sleepy that night and took off early by going on bed around 1130pm and fell asleep in 20 minutes time. It was a deep sleep I ever have so far for the past few weeks. Then my bad dream started.... It is like a real things that happen! I was so awake in the dream and keep asking myself am I dreaming or this is real me? I hate having bad dreams especially involving my family members. Mom was the victim in the dream! As usual, it is difficult to recall the whole stories the next morning but I know I cried the whole night and my heart is beating abnormally. I woke up 330am feeling weird and difficult to breath. I tried to wash up my face and sleep again but the dream seems to continue... I woke up for several time that night and the damn dream keep on continuing. Never happen to me before. It is all about how my mom suffers and died. I know where I am and I can deeply felt the pain in my heart seeing my mom in the suffering condition. I always beg to GOD if HE wants to punish mom, please do it on me! I don't mind taking all her pain no matter how; should it be in my dream or in reality. Please GOD. The next morning, I was like... being asked to wake up early. I tried to relax and stay calm but the pain in my heart is so unbearable. I keep telling myself it is a dream; don't torture myself! But my heard keep pounding non-stop. I can feel the pressure in my chest and the extraordinary beat in my heart. I started to have difficulties in breathing and my nerves is keep pulling me telling me to go out and look at mom just to double check everything is okay. I heard mom walking around with doors slamming, kitchen utensils, etc. I tried to rest more since I have a bad sleep whole night trying to stay awake away from the stupid dream. I failed to do so. I get up from my bed, didn't even think of brushing or cleaning up my face, I rush out and hug at mom. Mom was surprised and asked me why. I told her I dreamt of her and it was a bad dream! Mom was laughing and says 'no worries.. I am still here'. I never have good dream lately. Why can't I have wonderful dreams like... gang bang by girls, flying like a Superman, dating miss world, world war hero, etc.????
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