It is really a mess when both families is chasing after a marriage. I was in the mood to tie a knob with my girlfriend. When we started to plan and discuss things seems to change and I begin to think there is a lot aspect I need to consider before going into deeper. Marriage is not as simple as we thought off. It is not easy to live with someone you love or not loved that much for the entire life. I am not sure if the clashes are because of whom I am or we are not well known to each other. I started to realized that we do not understand that much yet and we both do not know what we want and what we do not want. Seriously, I am not sure if this is normal when things come to marriage. Moreover, is this usually what happens when come to the stage of planning for marriage? I hate to have the strange feel like keep asking myself; if she is the one I am looking for. I hate myself so much as I easily to get shaky when come to comparing and seeing something new. I never satisfy with what I have. I keep telling myself it is time to get it over and stay put with what I owned. But the question keep lingering in my mind if she is the one? I always says we have the same thought and we understand each other well but when it comes to marriage arrangement, I just realized we don’t know each other much. What I planned which was acknowledged by her in the beginning will end up something the other way round. I hate having wedding dinner especially going table to table to say thanks and cheers to relatives and friends. Be honest, I hate relatives and have less friend in life, except those close friend that worth keeping for. I just want something simple and gathering with few close family members. Since we in the plan to do it simple and modern practice I just hope she would take it and make it as simple as possible but things doesn’t seems to work as what I actually planned. I was told that I need to go to her house to beg and ask for their blessing for the marriage and to discuss on the marriage arrangement. Are we still in the old age culture? I know that I have to seek for their blessing but they need to be alerted that we want to have it as simple as possible but to my surprised, I was told that their family is expecting a dinner that involves everyone in the family. If I would to arrange such, I bet my mom would want to have her family member to participate in the dinner as well, just to be fair to both families. If so, that means I have to organize the damn wedding dinner that I do not wish to have in the beginning. Yes I am so frustrated and told her to organize the dinner herself since I am not interested in dinner. It was rejected by her and subsequently demanded to do it along with mine so that I would cover the damn cost! Taking advantage, I guess! Well, I am not going to get further on the discussion. I am freaking tired of all this shits. Honestly, I want to get thing fast settle down but looking on the trouble, I don’t mind be single for now and see what will happen next. I have enough headache and stress over work and life. I want to have simple and happy going life ahead.
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