See..... sometimes I feel a abit stupid because I really don't know what did these girls want from me. Love or Fun? I always claimed that I have no one to love and no one want to love me. But the reality, there are few that I think they are not suitable and fooling around. Yeah... I do sound like woman too... worrying too much who is good who is not. Can't blame me that much after years back being cheated before. I hate those woman enjoying cheating, lying, materialistic, drinking, smoking and also pretending to be good when they are around with you.
To me the definition of love is very simple. It is the biological feels of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. Love is not as simple as it is defined; the most important is the willingness of sacrifying in any sense as well as being honest and transparent towards the person whom you love. On top of that, getting to understand someone you love is crucial. However the legacy of such will always being compromised by jealousy and dissatisfaction; but bear in mind, jealousy means loves. No doubt it seems to be controlling or being conquered, you can rest assure the strength of love is uncountable and promised. Yes, it does not work on most cases which is due to a weak stage of understanding and trust. Getting to trust someone is not as easy nowadays especially with current culture where kissing, making love and having fun is pretty common just for entertainment. Back to the point is that, trust and understanding is still the key of maintaining a strong relationship. Never tell lies for good or bad, unveil your past to make them accept it rather than making them to search for the truth, think for them what is the best to make it happen, understand what they need, talk and discuss to each other what is needed in the relationship than sit and wait or expect to be understood, learn to forgive and forget things that happened, change for them instead of demanding for someone to change for you, be honest always, to bear along with them the good or bad times, and of course last but not least; to sacrify. Whenever I talk about sacrify, a lot of people; I mean friends especially woman, they do not agree. Love is not only a feel or somehow a game that you think it comes along with how you live on for the rest of your lives. Having a relationship requires a huge scarifies in any means such as time, friends, freedom, hobby, etc. But in most cases which I've seen, most of this people (which I am not going to mention which gender it is) is expecting the other party to sacrify for them in sense of freedom and its own nature of activity. To add on to this, they usually love to use such words; "If you love me you have to change for me". See, this is one way communication which the sender will never have the feedback. Seriously, what kind of creature would be that powerful enough to demand someone to change for them? I been to that stage before where 1 of my so call... 'trying to be' my girlfriend, says "If you love me, you have to change and accept the way I am". I was stunt and laugh out loud. I never agree with such and I replied to her "Go fuck yourself. You need a robot not human to love you". Loving someone is not as simple as what the word goes around. It is a commitment that change us through out our life and of course it is not 1 person's responsibility to make it success and wonderful. Take it as a challenge. If we can challenge ourselves in career and staying alive, why not having another wonderful challenge to make it more meaningful?
Seriously I am really in dilemma wondering around, how serious and honest she (someone I knew) is to me. It tooks me sometimes to fall to her but the longer it takes to know her, the scary it is to pursue further. Her character, her sociality, dishonest, lying skills, etc. scratching her good image I projected through out these days. And worst of all, the same words comes "you have to accept the way I am" and my reply "Go fuck yourself!". That is why old people says, never judge the book by its cover. The good point is, I have yet to nail the feels deep in my heart; no doubt the feels of like and love begun but it never being too late to retrieve and pull back rather than falling into the trap. Life is really challenging. Too many things that unpredictable. You never get what you want but will be given many things you doesn't want to have.
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